Interview with Alex Part 2

You can spend months planning a wedding and still feel like the day disappears in a blur. We wanted to slow it down and tell the truth about what actually sticks: the quiet first look that cracks everyone open, the split-second reveal that changes the room, and the small choices that make a ceremony feel like real life instead of a performance. Amanda shares what she sees as an officiant, and Alex walks us through the moments that mattered most, including the ones she didn’t expect to hit so hard.

We get into the tender stuff and the practical stuff, because wedding planning is both. We talk about honoring loved ones who are gone through a remembrance table and a brief moment of silence, and how to do it with care without turning the day into a memorial. We also unpack wedding day nerves and the way stress shows up right before the ceremony, plus what helped Alex come back to herself when emotions ran high. If you’re planning a wedding ceremony, blending a family, or trying to build a meaningful wedding timeline, you’ll take away ideas you can actually use.

Then we hit the real-world tips couples ask for: why you may want to record your ceremony, how to avoid photo regrets with a simple shot list, and what to do about guests who won’t put their phones away even when there’s a sign. We even debate the dollar dance and why a “fun tradition” can be either perfect or a personal nightmare depending on your personality.

We close with post-wedding advice that matters more than any centerpiece: communicate, say the hard things, and don’t be afraid of premarital therapy when life has sharp edges. If this made you laugh, think, or text your partner, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who’s planning a wedding.

Transcript

Time Capsule Context And Care

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi, all. Just wanted to hop on before we dig into this episode as well as the episode that follows, which is my interview with Alex.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

These were recorded quite some time ago, and I have been remiss in getting them out. Thank you, Alex, for continuing to remind me. I just want to call in that they were from a time before I was pregnant, so don't be concerned with all the drinking. But also in a sad space, they were from a time before Alex's family experienced a significant loss.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

So just want to say our hearts are with you. We love you always. Welcome to the wedding wear with officiating by Amanda.

Favorite Reveals And First Looks

SPEAKER_01 1:09

If you're just tuning in, please pause, go back and listen to part one, where I am chatting with Alex about all of the wedding planning things that she did. We are now refilled on our glasses and diving in for part two. So we're gonna talk all about the beautiful, heartfelt, yet quick, because I was told, and I even think I made a joke in the midst of the wedding, like I was told this had to be quick. Yes, you did. So we're gonna talk all about the wedding. Looking back, what stands out as your favorite part of your wedding? My favorite part is probably I didn't do a first look with Mark, but I did a first look with my son. I was so I hit on a corner because like those aren't the necessarily the moments that like the officiant is in on, but I love those little moments, like either the bride gang who veil put in or first look with dad or anything like that. So gang just kind of like stands aside and like no one sees me, I'm not really here. I get to like voyeurism those great moments. And he cried, and oh, it was so great. There was not a dry eye with that. Your mom was crying, you were crying, Allison was in tears. I I swear, even if, you know, again, you knew any of the, you know, the moments leading up or anything, like it just you just went, oh my gosh. Yeah, that that was probably my absolute favorite part. And I think if I remember correctly, I might not, future insane, you know. Mark, I know you had the the curtain entrance. Yes, but I think Mark also elected for the turn. Yeah. Did I get to turn him? Uh-huh. Oh man, let me tell you what a freaking superpower that is, especially for someone like your husband who's a veteran, and they they think of their own free will and accord. They said, Yeah, yeah, yeah, turn me whenever. Then they're turned, but they're back, and I have control to say, Oh, the the minister superpower I get sometimes, man. It's fun. I get to people, I get people say things in the middle of their wedding. Yeah. Like I love, I'm like, you say I love you every day. And then they're like, oh yeah, yeah, I love you. I'm like, see, I did that. See, I did that. I go to tell you when to kiss, I get to tell guys. I loved it. But yeah, you had a great reveal out. Yes. At all levels, everything from that first look with NJ. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

All the way to, you know, the curtain pulled back for the guests, and then letting you get about halfway down, and then we turn Mark for that reveal.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Oh, oh, I know. It was so great. And then I even have a picture of his boys like looking at him when he first saw me, and like they even look like they're about to cry. Like it was just it, it was just perfect. You were beautiful, absolutely beautiful. And my dress had pockets. I'm just saying. Love that. My second dress had pockets. You're like, you'll be out in my pockets. You're like, pockets. What

Remembrance Table And Grief Rituals

SPEAKER_01 4:19

was one small or personal touch that was included in your wedding day that meant the most to you? I'm trying not to say it morbidly because I'm so morbid, but I also hated it.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

But I called it my dead table.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Where we had the pictures of everybody who wasn't there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

And then when we took pictures with my brother's widow, we took a picture of my brother and we like took a picture. It was like taking a picture of it. Yeah, he held the frame. Yeah. Yeah, the frame picture. Yeah. Yeah. Y'all can't see it. I'm in Alex's beautiful living room. And again, all of the pictures that you had at the there at the table and everything on your dead table. You're staring at me right now. It's not my dead wall. Dead wall. No. Well, and I I love that too. So we talked about, you know, we've known each other for a very long time. And when we look back and kind of chatting with Mark, you know, again, before engagement, even, there was a conversation with, you know, it was before you'd had some of the losses in your life and knowing that Mark had been in the service. I was like, oh, you know, would you want like a moment of remembrance and being the stoke guy he is? I mean, he's built in his own personal touches in his shop and everything. He's like, no, I don't need it. That's not the focus of my wedding is to memorialize my brothers in arms that I lost.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

And then, you know, kind of unfortunately over time, you also lost brothers.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

And so, kind of for me, weaving in that line, uh, we did a very brief moment of silence and saying it was for the brothers' loss, both of blood and in arms.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

I thought was a really great way to symbolizing both Mark and you and all of the things that you guys were bringing in, as well as the growth that you've had in coming over the morning and the struggles, and knowing that you both were, you know, I would say that imperfect people finding each other perfectly. Yeah, yeah, right. Again, there's only certain people who can get the morbid humor that you have. I'm sorry, that's Mark.

unknown 6:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

There's only someone who's gonna tell your brother the amputee to get his leg off his. See, it's Mark. Like 100%, you know, and we both have been through a lot of growth together. So picturing your beautiful, gorgeous wedding day, knowing that the moments are fleeting. Heck, Nick and I found

The Dollar Dance Debate

SPEAKER_01 6:46

your wedding fleeting. It went so quick. I will have to say though, did I ever tell you you are the reason we had one of our biggest disagreements over our wedding. Oh no. He absolutely loved the dollar dance at your wedding. Loved it. Oh. Beyond belief. Loved it. Thought it was the funnest thing. And for someone with his level of anxiety, he was like, This is how I could interact with everyone briefly. Yeah. But also, they're giving us money. Yeah. I got that from my mom's wedding when I was a kid. It he loved it. However, I was working in friendly raising at the time. And do you know the number of things I did in my day-to-day basis revolving around money and solicitation and asking for donations? I was like, under no circumstances am I dancing for money. Like, no, they will give us a gift or not, and not pouring myself out for a dollar. Like, we got into this whole thing. He's like, I'm like, hard past. Hell no. He's like, but Alex, like, Alex made the Alex did a great time. Alex looked great. I love the picture of you and him dancing. You and my husband. He's just so honey. You're jolly. I'm all so great. I love it. I love that picture. But at the same time, I'm like, that worked for Alex's wedding. As me, the fundraiser does not work for me. No, thank you, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

No, that would just stress you out.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

No. It was like, I'd kind of be like, well, wait, like, how much did they give? Am I dancing for a minute? Am I dancing for five minutes? Am I dancing? Exactly. You want to spend 50 bucks and they're like, I won't dance with you all night long because I understand the power of a thank you. Because you need seven thank yous before your next gift. Oh my gosh. So in your beautiful wedding, if you could relive five minutes, what moment would that be? And why? Cool. That's it. What I remember. Well, that was funny. I I had done this interview with somebody else at one point of like, how did you how did you stay present and not stress in the day? And she was like, I didn't. Vaka. Vacatonic.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Vacatonic. I didn't. I don't think I I didn't even have to ask. There was always somebody who was giving me a glass, you know?

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Allison. Yeah, yeah, right. They just made sure. But no, I think um just like the dancing with everybody. And I mean, I don't think I even had time to mingle.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Like you know, you know what it would be? It would be NJ and Mark's dance.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

That was great. What was the song on that? My boy. And that was like the song. It maybe been out four or five months. Yeah. It was great. And as soon as the first three chords started, I sat there with my husband and I started crying. And Nick didn't know the song. And I'm like, and of course, he's a late comer to the party, my husband, of not really knowing anybody. Yeah. I bring him to weddings. He has no clue who's getting married. So I'm like filling him out on the backstory. I'm like, Alex's son, and this is Mark Husband. Like a stepdad.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

And I said to Mark, my wedding, that I'm so glad that you and him had found each other. But I was also happy for NJ that his dad had found somebody because I, as capable as you are, and as capable as his dad is.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

That's a handful of a boy right there. Oh, it sure is. Two of you. Sure is. You have to widen your circle, either by grandparents and relatives and all this other. It takes a village. And literally the four of us. Right, and I said to your husband, I'm like, I'm so glad not only did Alex find you, but that there's then four parents for NJ because that's and the four of us have a group chat and we all get along. And I remember you telling me, yeah. Christina, is she Christina? Yeah, Christina. Yeah. That she's like, yeah, if I got something to do, I she's she's my person. Like, yeah. We're in on it. Yeah.

Surprises And Pre Ceremony Nerves

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Was there a moment during the day that surprised you, either good or bad? Now, while you think on this, I'm gonna tell you about Emerson's wedding. And I'm sure one of the things that she would say surprised her for bad was the phone call about 40, 30 to 40 minutes before the wedding. Um, the food is in the back of somebody's car, the Italian salad that's spilled over something. As I'm sitting on this porch out here, no, you're at their house. The house as I'm sitting there going, okay, I'm just gonna put my binder together and get it. You come out, you're like, she's not allowed to have her phone anymore, friends. She's done. We're cutting her off. She's not allowed to have her phone. Her sister's there just to have a baby, too. Yeah, yeah. We're like, she's done? I'm like, what's going on? You're like, the food spilled over in the car. We don't know what state it's in. We don't know anything. I need someone to the VFW and handle it. Yeah, like tap me. Well, yeah, tap me and tap me. I was supposed to go in like 20 minutes. You're like, well, you're getting married with class. I go, Alex. I'm damn. And there. So that's if I were Allison, that's why I'd say it was like the surprise.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

100%, dude. And I mean, you're always great at hand and everything. It was so dumb. If I ever needed something dealt with, I'm like, I'm calling Amanda because she's gonna read everybody new one.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Or we're give you the level headed of Alex. Yep. I don't think this is what you think this is. Either you need to give me more information or we need to check ourselves. And blink twice if you need to go to like a blue padded room or something. Yes, I'll dead and there. I love it. Some moment that surprised you good or bad in the wedding day. You know what? It was surpr up surprise was Jasmine, my brother's widow, and Emily, who was my brother's best friend. They like came over and like danced with me, and we like had this whole moment. And like he felt the vibe. Yeah, and then um Orange's other friend was like drying my tears, and like there's actually pictures of it. And I just like I was surprised that they felt that with me, if that makes any sense. Yeah, because I mean we're we're not super close, so I mean, I think that was a surprise in that they were like very supportive in that moment, you know what I mean? Yeah, and that again, when it's someone else's wedding, we sometimes don't want to interlope or intrude, but that they felt called to do so then in that moment. Exactly. Is in another another level, another realma, another okay, yeah. Like, why do people say the things they say in the exact moment that they say them? Exactly. Maybe there's something else at play. Oh, 100%. 100%. I also would say something that surprised you was that you were as nervous and as like caught in the theorems as you know with your makeup that you're having a whole panic attack. And we're like, we would no, no, no. Like, I know that this, like, and you were trying to like narrow it down. Like, it's not because I'm nervous about my like I know this stuff. It's not because I'm nervous about what we're gonna do with our future. We've got our house, we've got our boy, we've got our things, we got our dogs. Yeah. It's not that I'm nervous about any of the after all. Hey, this interruption brought to you by the dogs, all of the dog has you've got they're all military mean too, right? Yeah, they're all yeah. You should see me drunk one night here in Palace telling douser and dancer and major and minor, and I think I got to major and I went to minor military, and I'm like, Caden's commander commandant. Commander played, like I was just paraphralized. I was all over the place. Oh, it's so fun. It's hysterical. But yeah, you're and then you trying to just even in your head, instead of like going with like, okay, I'm emotional because this is a big moment, a big day, and a big everything. Trying to, it's not because of this, it's not because of this, it's not because Alex, shut your head up, shut your head up and feel your feels. I know, yeah, right. But when you could work with NJ though, like that relieved a lot. I don't think I agree. It relieved a lot. I think it really did too. It really did. I think you had a lot of anticipation for all of that.

unknown 15:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

100%. If you could change one thing about the wedding day, what would it be?

What To Change Next Time

SPEAKER_01 15:36

I wish that I had the ceremony recorded. Oh, okay. Like videography and like just the ceremony part, because I like, you know, because when you're so nervous standing in front of all those people, it's like you don't quite remember everything that happens. And it it would be nice to look back and because I mean, I know you made everybody f laugh, you know? And well, you guys had good answers to your survey, let's say. And like I just I wish I could replay it and watch it again, you know what I'm saying? Like, see it not like being up there living it. Like, I wish I could now see it. Cause I feel like you kind of like block out a lot when you're so nervous with everybody's staring at you. Now, y'all need to understand Alex's level of I don't want people staring at me. She had to put that all aside for my wedding. She did. She got up there, she did great. I didn't take my sunglasses off. Take your sunglasses off. She didn't do voices like some of the other character actors we had had. I just went in it. We just went straight through it. Very easy. We gave her the part that would be the simplest, which was really just ask the question and let us say, I do. That's it. That's all we had to do. That's it. But again, like again, money though. You put that aside. You put that totally aside. And I think you were one of the first people, and I'm like, oh, I've got the video back. You're like, let me see it. Yeah. I don't remember shit what I said. Let me see it. I don't in that moment in time. So I could see that for your own wedding. It's like, yeah, yeah, I don't remember anything more than what Amanda Script had said. Exactly. Someone give me more. Exactly. Well, this just means you guys have to do like a big 10-year or 20-year or something like that. And support that one. Right. I promise I'll make it funny as a dead out. True for the case. Yeah, like remember the moment and all that fun stuff. So you don't need a beautiful to have it. Exactly. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Um also, too, if you put a sign up telling people to put their phones away for the ceremony, they don't listen.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

No, they don't. They don't and all my pictures have people with their freaking phones. I was so mad. It's it's one of those, like, where do I fall with it as an official? Like the sign is up, I will say it, but then there's also the I'm not gonna be the police of it, being like, yo, lady in the third row. Plus, I don't know who who's who, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or who was told that they could? Like, we had two specific people told that they could. Yeah. One was live streaming for Facebook, and the other one was the zoo. Exactly. Like, but then there were others, and it's like, where do you follow the line? You either are hard no, everybody know, be a bitch about it, or you're like uh please be present, please put it down. Oh, yeah. I found since your wedding the last three years, I found sometimes doing a social media moment gets that fix, but then also gives the joint guilt of everyone's putting their phone down at once. Exactly from that one lone lady still holding her phone, you're like, Aunt Susan, put that down. Yeah, exactly. So you kind of say everyone all at once, like, okay, everybody at once take your phone, take your five-second picture. I liked when you did that a hundred percent. Right, put it down. Yeah. And now it was more stretched on I if you thought you were exempt on the walk-in, maybe you were, but now that we're here, you're not exempt anymore. Like you're done. Yeah, we've all been told the same as anybody else. Yep. I didn't like that. Okay, so you can't say me. This is the one rule for the snap question, okay? You cannot say me. Oh man. Favorite vendor or service. Why would you recommend them? And feel free to like name drop it out, like give them all the kudos that they deserve. Favorite vendor or service? Supposed to be you. Fine. Okay, so second vendor or service. Fine. Because you've already name dropped me enough. Thank you very much. You've already referred me, you've already done your good. Each one to each one, you've already passed me along to a few friends. I would say bovinos. Okay. Tell the people more. The bovinos, I know it's a pizzeria, but they make the best food.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

And I don't think there was any food left after the night. Like the food was amazing, and so many people even like complimented on how good the food is.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

You had like a chicken. You had uh meatballs. Did you have pasta? Yeah, quite a spaghetti, but pasta.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Yeah, like I think it I think it was a penny a la vodka. Maybe and then we had like a salad, and the food was just so oh, Frances. That was like my number the chicken frances. Yeah, that was like my number one to have.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Very good. It was so good. So good. And again, like when we walked kind of down the aisle, you walk through the like the staging area where the food is, you walk through the staging area where all the tables are, and then you walked in the samurai space. Nothing was set up there. And I thought, you know, okay, uh, Allison's gonna be ready with her conniption. Not Alex. I said Allison. Well, it's into part one. You have sample. Yep. And like Alice's gonna have a connection. There's no like the cake was getting set up. It was a cool enough day. Like the cake wasn't gonna melt. The cake was getting set up. I'm like, Allison's gonna lose her money here yet. But again, with how quick the venue turned all the tables around, by the time we were kind of walking out, getting ready for the next level of pictures. Oh, they were there. They were there, they were ready, they get it set. And I'm like, all right, awesome. Check that off the list. One last vendor I gotta try to wrangle or deal with. Not that it's ever my job to, but sometimes I just do anyway. Oh, a hundred percent. And then I also wish that I maybe like wrote down a schedule or a uh the pictures I wanted with certain people because I assumed that my photographer would just handle that. But like he didn't announce anything. It was basically like Mark and I stood up there, people came, took pictures with us, or we went downstairs and did like pictures with our bridal party.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

But then, like, there's so many people that I didn't get pictures with that I really regret.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Yeah. And then you got me the hyperplanner who had it all on the back of her schedule of events, and then we were running behind on one. Group of family photos. So I whisk the other family photos fast, and then I'm like, well, we're ahead of schedule now. And Paige and Steve missed like the readers. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, crap. They're on my table. I got enough of them later on. It's fine. Um you and Mark are beautiful, brokenly souls. Like that's just the best way. It makes sense. You're good. You are. But you got you got you got like tattoos of scars. You've got weathered battles and everything. Yeah. Perfectly imperfect together. And I love that. Very well said. How did you guys make sure to incorporate your personalities into your wedding day?

Personalities On Display All Day

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Like you want to answer the spin cobs. I know you guys were supposed to be there, but my mom said no. Uh did the when you I mean, how many did you have at that time? Just two, three, three. No. It was before the it was before the litter. It was before the second litter. Yes. Okay. Yeah, but we were supposed to have major and trigger. And the venue said yes, but my mom was like, I don't think that's a good idea. She made sense with wool and my dress, and I I understood. They aren't tiny little lappy dogs. No, they're not. No, they're large, but yeah. So obviously incorporating the dogs in the day wasn't how your personality was. No, no, it was the right. So how did you bring your personalities in for the day? I don't know. We kind of just were us. I mean, you know, we were surrounded by everybody we loved, and you know, we didn't after the ceremony, Carl, we just didn't care. And like every time I would get nervous up there, Mark would like squeeze my hand or something.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

And you know, like, we basically watched out for each other, I guess he would say.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Like he knew when I was getting like too much and would like drag me outside for a minute, or you know, I would know when he was getting like overwhelmed, and like we'd be like, okay, let's take let's step outside, like, you know. And I think between Allison and Steve and you, I think like everybody kind of like you guys knew us enough to read us. Oh, Steve was great. Your your second husband. Yeah. I forgot about Steve. Steve's a great guy. Yeah, to do Steve. Seriously, though. Next time he's around, you make that TikTok video. I already made the TikTok video. And your friend, Steve.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

The day I, the day after the wedding, I woke up and somebody sent me that TikTok saying, You gotta do this.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

You have to make this. I took pictures instantly, made it right then and there. And it's it's great.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

The other thing I think that with your personalities in the day was that you like there wasn't an aspect of your wedding that I didn't go, oh, that's like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Like there wasn't something like Dollar Day's coming on, like, that's Alex, that's smart. Oh, yeah, got it. You know, work with NJ. I'm like, that's that's them. That's you know, there was nothing where I went, oh, I bet their mom requested that they do that. Oh yeah. There wasn't a single thing today that I went, huh? I wonder if that's like a traditional thing, because it doesn't seem like them. Like, no, everything seemed like you to the point that when you're dancing on an empty chair there, my husband goes, What's going on? I go, It's Alex. Like, obviously, you don't know this girl. Like, it's Alex. He's like, But isn't Mark supposed to be between her and the chair? Like, it's just there. I'm like, he'll be there soon. Don't worry, he'll be there soon. It's just it's Alex.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Or when he was taking my garter off, and they just I have a picture of him, like, all up in my dress, and my mom's just standing there looking at us like when she's the one that did all that.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Exactly. Exactly. Come on, Brandy. It's like Martha can't be mad about grandkids when Nick's making jokes about, you know, this, that, and the fourth. Like, you can't be mad. You can't be mad.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

You found him.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

We had on this a little bit before, but just in case there was one that maybe tackled up a little higher. What was the most emotional moment for you? Larry hit on it. There was two.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Yeah. You know, and Jay, obviously the seeing that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

But that was like a happy emotion. Yeah. And then just the fact that my brother wasn't there because I always thought that my brother would be the one to walk me down the aisle. That was always my plan. Reminding me, did your mom walk you? Mom, no. Mom and dad. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and he was he was so emotional that day. I remember it's always fathers of the bride that I have to do a fair amount of work with. Bridal party, they're fine. Griming Groomsmen, they're drunk, but I speak the language of drunk men. Fraternity boys, I learned it well. It's father's of the bride because I have to go in almost thinking maybe they're respectable adult gentlemen, but also knowing that they could be a little bit like my dad. And on the side where I could treat them like a drunk fraternity boy. Or maybe they're like the hyper religious. Like I just have no clue what I'm getting exactly with a father of the bride. But I remember hear you talking with him. You wanted to see him and your you know for the first wedding. And so again, and they were both with you right then, lockstep. So knowing that day of as well, they were going to be right there with you. And even though not together, they were able to be there for you. For you. And again, a lot of times parents that aren't together are specific in their wording of I do, we do, her and I do. Yeah. There's always some little politics, but that's the politics that they figure out. Exactly. When they actually come together and talk on the day of that that's all that matters. Like that, that's it. Yeah. I loved it. He was so excited. He'd be so nervous, so excited. Yep. I love seeing that. And they're always so like, I don't want to mess up. Like, what do we do? Yeah. And I'm like, if I tell you just stand there, look pretty, I will ask a question. The answer is whatever your wife or you know the mother told you to, or your daughter told you to. Like, yeah. Somebody else told you the answer was. That's what you're gonna answer. We do not let you figure this out on your own. Jess's dad, Keith, God rest his soul. My first wedding. So of course I didn't know any of these tricks of the bride or yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell the dad, like, no, dad, you say this. So rehearsal, again, I was new. We did like six practices of this. And every time he'd give a different answer. Oh no. Every time he'd be like, my cheating horrible wife, and I do. And I'll like every time we would say something different. And Jess would just get part of the goddamn. You know, you know, just the whole Oh my gosh. And he'd go, I guess I do. Or at least, here you go, Joe, she's your problem now. Like he tried out every version he could think of out of the rehearsal. Day of the one he landed on was in this big booming voice, which was only what Keith used to break up parties up in what was woodland, like coconut woodland, like a state of the hell, where are they live? This big booming voice, and I said, who presents this woman in this marriage? I'm her father, dude!

SPEAKER_02 29:43

I mean, that was better than some of the other ones.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Oh, she could not. She was mortified.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

But no, even like you saying when when I asked for my mom and dad the first wedding at the house.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

I honestly was the most anxiety. I was freaking out. I mean they're trying to touch your base. I'm like, you good? You're like, nope. I need a minute. I need to see more. Like, do you have time? I'm like, and everybody's waiting for me. And I'm just like, I can't do this. Well, I'm like, I interrupted for you. So yeah, I got time. I don't know. You had more people here the first time than I thought you would have. Like, I honestly thought it was gonna be like two of you in a living room. I know. I but I had to have my parents. There was some additional support needed. Mark had to have his parents, and then each of our parents had their significant others. And then we had to have our maid of honor and best man. Yeah. And then he wanted his other best friend. Like we had like what, 11, 12 people? It would have been a ton, but man, I showed up. I'm like, oh hi. Yay. Hi. I thought this was on the DL in the living room. No one's gonna know. Who gonna have like a no? No one got no. Well they're gonna know if Alex tells everybody.

unknown 30:55

I know.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Something you have to know about Alex and I is we both have big mouths. Yes. I believe you were voted what biggest mouth in high school. Uh-huh. If there's anyone who could out talk, out, gossip, out, yell, me, it's her. Yes. Yes, 100%. I'm there. Which isn't easy to do. No, it's not. Because I've done 45 minute whatever I can shut the f up the entire time. I'm like, are you gonna do your own vowels? They're like, no, I'm like, shit. Now I gotta start talking.

Staying Present And Delta Dawn

SPEAKER_00 31:32

How did you manage to stay present and soak up the day in the bits and pieces while it was happening?

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Was it those little breaks with Mark? Was it just like gut checking with Allison? Yeah, it was it was probably those like little moments with Mark, you know, and just like even like I had a moment with my mom, my Aunt Carol, my Aunt Kelly, my cousin Morgan, where I asked the DJ to give me the mic and play Delta Dawn. And we all sang Delta Dawn together because as a kid, yeah, we would be in the swimming pool. And then my mom, my Aunt Carol, my Aunt Kelly would be like, okay, it's adult swim, kids out, and we would be all be whining on the side of the pool, and they would be swimming or floating. And to drown all of our whining out, they would sing Delta Dawn.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

And when my cousin had her baby one night, like she wouldn't stop screaming.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

So Morgan was calling me. And then we both just sat on the phone singing Delta Dawn really loud to drowned it all out. Like so I thought it was pretty like cool to like take that memory and make it something, you know what I mean? Bring it through from childhood to exactly adulthood to women and just realize what this day is is and what we've come from, you know, like and these strong women. Yes, strong women. Yes. What is one thing you think brides forget to consider when they're planning and living in their wedding? Like living in the day. I mean, I can't, like I said, I can't say for all brides, but I would say definitely mine would be the mingling. Mark was definitely the mingler and talked to everybody. I don't think I left the dance floor. No, you're the dancer, he's the like oh yeah, exactly. I'm sorry. I could have told you that.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Yeah, yeah, no, I totally did not mingle. I totally don't even know if I even got to speak to every person at the wedding.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

You know? And I tried to get a picture of every table, but we had a whole table of my bridesmaids who were breastfeeding. They all went up to go pump at one point. And I think get a picture of their papers. The Milky Mamas. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

unknown 33:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

And I again, like, I wish I would have gotten certain pictures, you know, with certain people or couples or family members. And yeah. Well, they should have paid the money for the dollar dance. They could have had a great photo like my husband had. Exactly. We're gonna wrap up a little

Favorite Wedding Scenes On Screen

SPEAKER_01 34:08

bit now. I'm starting to do more efficient reacts to movies in wedding and TV shows. And you know, when you put you know, gun to my head and say, okay, pick one, I have no clue where to start. So why don't you tell me what is your favorite wedding scene in a movie or a TV show? And this was not on your pre-prep questions, but uh the wedding singer. Okay, so like the wedding where he's left at the altar, or like who? Or like the wedding that's at like the start that he's actually singing at. There's a few weddings in that one. Oh shoot, there is. I'd have to probably re-watch that one. But wedding crashers was pretty freaking awesome too. Yes. When they're wrestling around in the front yard, that's a good one. Yeah, I just did a reaction to um Frank and Monica from Shameless, and I didn't think that I would, but I had been binge watching Shameless.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

And as I'm, you know, seeing them get ready for this. I'm like, oh, it's gonna be a shit show. Him for all the drunk he is and for all the meds he's on, for the being able to know the only thing that could calm her down would be saying the vows that he said 20 years before. And again, yes, it's all fictional. He's uh 100%. That's still that that these are the words that will still live with you. Yeah. Like these are the things that in bipolar bipolar and the crazy of crazy and the heart of sad and the heart of hearts, these are the words that are gonna get you through. And again, who you were 20 years ago promising these things of and they said things like we'll make a great home for kids. Oh, you didn't really do that. You set out with that intention, exactly, and that's a great place to start.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Yeah, I I am not gonna get that. I mean, that's even too like my sister, like, you know, we had a falling out and she was not at my wedding.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

So one night on my back porch, my seaster, my seaster, and if we remember you having different things, I'm like, wait a second, I thought I knew the whole family tree, but then I'm like, that was this another one.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

So we ended up having a wedding.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

You're like, wait, who's the singer that goes, another one?

SPEAKER_02 36:35

Oh yeah, yeah, yada, yada, yeah. Like, another one. And I legit got in my dress, and Mark put his dress blue coat on, and my sister changed a bunch of times, and she was the offician at one point.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

She was the best man at one point with the best at tie. And then we did this whole picture thing that she's under my dress, and then I have videos of Mark and her's bachelor party, and then I have videos of mine and her's bachelorette party. Like, and then she's sitting here and she asked us to do our vows.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

Mark has the best speech ever, the best, and don't get me wrong, we were not completely sober, okay?

SPEAKER_01 37:21

And but Mark's speech was great, and then there's me. It was absolutely horrendous because I'm so terrible at talking about my feelings or how I feel, and oh my god, it was so bad.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

But it was such a fun time, a fun experience, and the love was still shared.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

And I have videos of that, but I don't have videos like how it's fitting with all the pressure off exactly off for people. Or you can't show the real real. Yes, because there's couples I have where I read over their vows and I'm like, this might be really exactly how you feel if you know keep my stomach full in my ball, don't you? Yeah, it might be really how you feel, but you can't say that in front of grandma. Exactly, exactly. In that setting, I would almost say, I'm glad you got that on video over your way. Like, yes, there's pictures you missed. You know, you're right. But I'm glad you got that real, real moment without me nervous as fuck, without him. Yes. She got me this hot jacket. Oh, yeah, you'll menu hot jacket. Yeah, I don't want to wear it. She's making me wear it. Uh-huh. You're so right though. 100%. You got the real rule. And again, it's the same thing. Put yourself in newlywed shoes. Obviously, you were a little untraditional the newlywed because it's not like a, oh, well, we waited until we got married. We could move in together or to serve it, but like you had a kid, you had the dogs, you had the house, you had it all. Uh-huh.

Newlywed Advice That Actually Helps

SPEAKER_01 38:50

But if you could give one piece of advice to someone post-wedding day, a newlywed, getting it all together again, what would it be? To really make sure you're communicating on all levels. You know, it it wouldn't hurt to go to premarital therapy. You know, because I mean, Mark went through his PTSD with me. And, you know, he got help when we were together. I had to get help when we were together. Like, we both had to go through this stage of growth that was very hard and wasn't always pretty. Don't be afraid to say the hard things, I think. You guys don't hold the punches. No, you have to get all out. You can't hold it in, or else you'll blow up. Like, and I mean, we're stronger than ever now. We're gonna disconnect. Exactly. You'll blow up or you're gonna resent. And I mean, you have to all on the table, everything, all the dirt, all the tea, all the feelings.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

And I think that's huge for especially men. Put all your feelings out. It doesn't matter. No one's going to put you down because you have feelings or because you shed a tear.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

Like, I almost love seeing my husband have a tear time or tear. I'm like, right? Oh, yeah. Wait a second. This moment. This moment means like I'm going to like picture this. Right? I gotta keep it this way. Exactly. It's a huge deal. Put everything out on the table. Hold no nothing back. Well, we are almost done with our charcuterie board. We are almost done with wine. Alex has like about a sip left. Uh, we hear the goats at the back door here. Alex's menagerie of animals who are going to make a guest appearance at all. So thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Excited to have you on and get to relive kind of these moments. It was so much fun. Thank you. I know. And you know, we've got many, many things ahead of us. We just we just figured out we're hosting a party in about two months, and I'll be hosting parties all summer long. So we're gonna have ourselves a great time. We are. So I know you gave us kind of a beginning of like who you are and what you're what you're doing, but uh in as much detail as you want to, what are you up to now? So we worked you through planning and the wedding day, and like what do we what are you doing now? Uh

Farmstead Plans And Closing Notes

SPEAKER_01 41:12

working on me being home full time so that I can grow our farmstead. Yep. You know, our goats should be pregnant here in like the next month. So in six months, I'll be getting goat milk. Have a whole recipe book on how to make goat milk, goat cheese, goat yogurt, goat cream cheese, everything. Gotta do wine infused. That out clean. Oh, we'll definitely do that. We got the grapes off front. Do you have the moonshine distillery yet? Because Alex's shine and then cheese. I'm I'm here for. Oh, yeah, 100%. And uh yeah, just curds and shine. Ooh. Gotta we gotta come up with a good little thing. I love that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, and we can't even keep eggs. We need more chickens. We've been selling out like crazy and adopting a little boy. Yes, growing your family. Faming a family of four, which is awesome. Keeping the dogs sane. No more, right? You're you're good for now. Oh yeah. You're good. You're good. No more dogs. Cool. I can't guarantee you no more chickens, no more goats, but no more dogs. Yeah, no more dogs. And just the one husband. Just one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know. That's about it. Well, perfect. Alex, it's been a pleasure, as always. Always. It's a Taylor Swift song. I think about what's it? Begin again, where it's I think it's strange that you think I'm funny because he never did. Yes. I went through junior high high school again, learning humor as parts of like self-deprecation. And I wasn't the funny fat girl. I was just, yeah, the smart fat girl. Okay, cool, whatever. I have definitely found the I'm a lot funnier than I thought I freaking was. So you're hilarious. So you always were funny. Somewhere along the way, that sidecar really came into play. It's it's coming in lockstep these days. So I loved every time that you I said just the right thing and you threw your head back laughing.

SPEAKER_02 43:13

Cause you really are funny. You've always been funny.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

But that is also one of the favorite pictures I have of your wedding, is you and Mark holding hands and him obviously very grounding you. But I must said something from your survey that one of you said to the other, and this man in his gorgeous dress blues, this stone cold Victron that he is, who has been your rock for so much, who have seen you up through so much, who doesn't have to be a get the humor kind of guy. Life could have hardened him a lot of different ways. It really could have, yeah. He is there. I said something great. And even if Alex wrote it off survey, I'm still taking credit for it. I said something great, and Mark throws his head back, he's stystrically laughing. And that is one of my favorite pictures. Oh, love it. Yeah, it is. Well, cheers to you, cheers to Mark, cheers to many more years with you, beautiful family. And cheers to you. Thank you for listening to The Wedding Wear with Officiating by Manda.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Buscrout and can be found on all major platforms.

SPEAKER_01 44:26

If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment, and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the wedding wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at OfficiatingByAmanda.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

You can also follow the business on Facebook, WeddingWire, and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to theweddingwear podcast at gmail.com. And if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmail.com. Thank you so much for tuning in, and until next time, this has been Amanda.