What's The Process?

Most couples think hiring a wedding officiant is simple: send a message, sign a contract, done. The truth is the process matters, and when you understand it, you avoid date confusion, last-minute stress, and that uneasy feeling of not knowing what you’re paying for.

I’m Amanda, and I’m pulling back the curtain on how working with me actually flows from start to finish. We start with the inquiry and the few details that instantly change everything: your wedding date, ceremony start time, location, and how flexible you are. I explain why those basics help me confirm availability, estimate travel, and even suggest a better-fit officiant if I’m already booked. You’ll also hear how my officiant network works and why personality, ceremony style, and even scheduling preferences can shape who’s best for your day.

From there, I walk through the complimentary consult call and the exact questions I ask to build a ceremony that sounds like you. We talk vows, readings, unity rituals, ceremony length, tone, and the marriage license. I also share why “we don’t need a consult call” can be a red flag and how a clear process protects you from scams and misunderstandings. Then we get into the quote, what a soft hold really means, how booking is finalized with a deposit and plain-English e-contract, and why communication naturally goes quiet until the two-month mark when we lock in the script, rehearsal plan, timeline, and license steps.

If you’re planning a 2026 wedding or beyond, this is your roadmap for vendor communication, wedding planning logistics, and a smooth ceremony experience. Subscribe for more wedding stories and planning clarity, share this with a recently engaged friend, and leave a review so more couples can find the show.

Transcript

Why Demystify The Booking Process

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Welcome to the wedding wear with officiating by Amanda. The wedding where we discuss the process. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to The Wedding Wear, a podcast where we listen, we don't judge, we learn from others' wedding experiences, and we laugh along the way. And today we are kind of talking about all the weddings I've done because we are talking about the process for booking and we're going to demystify it for you all. We're wrapping up wedding expo season. And so I've already talked to a lot of couples planning for their upcoming 26, 27, even 28 weddings. And everybody kind of has the same, like, okay, well, what what do we do next? You know, we met you at this expo, we like what you have to say. Your table looked good, you've got a brochure. What happens next? So I thought, what a great time to kind of walk you through what that looks like to work with me from first message all the way through wedding day and beyond. And maybe this is something beneficial that you could take to other vendors that you work with for your wedding, just of how they might lay out, or if you think that this sounds like a good process, regular touch points, communicative, but not, you know, overbearing. Maybe it's kind of how you want it set. You could also look at it and go, gosh, that just seems really lackadaisical. Not a problem. No worries. So this episode is really for you all, those of you that are searching, or maybe a few years from now we'll be searching for someone to work with you in your wedding or even any of your events that you ever run. Anytime that you're working with a vendor, you don't want somebody who's just going to throw a stock contract at you with a whole bunch of legalese and say, okay, we'll just sign here and you're booked. You want to make sure you know what's going on and you want to make sure that they know what your needs and expectations are so that everyone can be on the same playing field. And it's funny, as I record this, I'm getting ready for a console call. So let's dive on in before I talk for too much longer. Everything starts out with an inquiry. These can come, oh, any which way, skywriting, but my website through email, social media, a referral, met at a wedding expo. And the first question, really simple, is what's the date? Are we available? And if you reach out through a channel, because I if I'm at an expo, I can typically do it on the spot. I've got my calendar right there. But let's say you send an email. Give me about 48 hours to look it over. As much detail as you can provide would be great. If you have a start time for the ceremony, if you have a location, certainly the date, if any of those items are flexible. Also, really great information to put into that initial inquiry and outreach. I don't need too much more, like how long you want the ceremony or what elements. There is, though, a difference if you say, hey, we're flexible, we're looking for an elopement, maybe Friday at noon. That tells me a whole heck of a lot. And then the other side of the coin is we are booked at this venue on Saturday with a rehearsal set. We, you know, I already meant I already begin to anticipate that they're gonna need more of a built-out wedding package. So it's gonna be closer to half hour ceremony time. Given the venue, I can know the distance. So all of those pieces really help me to figure out if I am available and what the next steps would be. So when looking at a date, if it is something that I'm already booked for, that's when I kind of go to the next level contingency of, okay, well, did they give me any sort of idea on location and time? Because, you know, weddings 20 minutes down the road from each other, I can make happen. Weddings, one wedding happening at 11 a.m. and a wedding happening at 5 p.m., I can make happen. So that's why those details are really beneficial. But if they're not in your initial inquiry, I'll pop back and say, hey, I am booked for that day. However, it might be possible to do a two-wedding day. Let me know. And I also add in there that if it's not possible on my end, I do have other officiants that I work with. So oftentimes telling me a location really gives me a great indication on who else I know is local or would be available or would be desiring to travel here, there, and there. I have four different officiants that I work with. And each of them have their own personalities and desires for in the wedding space. I have one who really doesn't do formal ceremonies. She just does elopements, and she's based in Reading. I have a newer officiant who is humble and hungry and eager to learn as much as she can. And she'll go wherever the couple will pay for her to go. I have another officiant who's based in the Poconos a little south from me. And he really likes, you know, couples. He likes to know their backstory. He likes to really dig in and meet with them. And he doesn't like to do weddings on Saturdays in the fall because he is very, very passionate on college football. So obviously that changes a few things. And lastly, I have a new officiant friend in my neck of the woods who isn't looking to travel too, too far from home. So where I might do New York and New Jersey and go all the way down to Delaware, Maryland, she's hoping just to stick, you know, within 30, 35 minutes. So giving any more detail in your initial inquiry helps me to be able to give you back more answer than just yes, I can or no, I can't. And that's what I really like to be able to do with couples. So if you match out on my calendar and I'm able to take you, or you match out on one of my other officiant calendars and I'm still going to take the call just to get the consult out of the way, pass them along afterwards, then we get to the complimentary consult call. So I let you know within 48 hours from your inquiry whether or not I'm available and I send you my countly. It has times to meet up to two months in advance, but most times I recommend a couple pick within a week or two of that initial inquiry just so that you can keep the process moving on your end and I can keep it moving on my end. Because until you're booked, your date's not held at all. So if it's fall or spring date, yeah, book your consult as soon as you can. On the call, we we meet on Zoom, just get to know each other a little bit, talk about how you guys met as a couple, talk about what the proposals looked like, talk about how you normally spend your time together. Do you like hiking? Do you read? Are you movie holics? Do you have fandoms that you want to make sure are in the ceremony? And we then talk about the ceremony itself. How long do you want the ceremony to be? Are there any special elements we have to bring in? Like you're writing your own vows, or you have a unity desire. Is there a theme, a tone? Keep it light, make it religious that you are hoping for. And then I ask if there's any questions you have for me. And a lot of times there's questions about the license and what to do, and kind of, okay, well, if we like you, what do we do from there? Which is really great because it brings me into like my wrap-up where I go through all of the next steps of this process. And I really do, unless you're going for a paperwork elopement, I really do insist upon doing a consult call because it helps me to get to know you as a couple. And it also really helps you to get to decide if I'm your person. If you're doing more than a five-minute ceremony, more than a$200 investment, you want to make sure you are getting exactly what you want out of the process. And so I get a little leery at times when couples are like, yeah, yeah, we don't need a consult call. Like we're ready. We're ready to book. Oh, I need the consult call. How do I know what I'm booking you for? Fun fact, it is a telltale of scammers to be like, oh no, we don't need a consult call. We'll just go with this package. Ugh, listen to a whole podcast I have, the scammers and just the frustrations I've had with them. So after we get done with your consult call, I take everything that we talked about and I marinate over a week. I typically write out my quotes on Sundays and I get them emailed over to you. And your comprehensive quote has everything that we talked about, as best as I understand it. And sometimes I I guess my listening ears were turned off. So please, if there's anything wrong with it, let me know. Or if there's any variables that you guys have since discussed you want to change or you want to see an adjustment, let's do it. But it has your length of time, your location, your start time, your content if you're doing any customized content, if you're doing anything special and different that would involve new crafted material on my end, or you reading and speaking, or a family member reading and speaking, just kind of how many times are we likely adjusting the script, sharing the mic, going back and forth. If you have any add-ons, guaranteed rehearsal, travel, weekday fees, winter weather fees, just anything that could possibly be incurred as best as we know it at this time, you're gonna see it listed out there. I'm not one to hide and then bill you for it later. And then we have the date, the amount for the package. And next to it is a date two months into the future, if I can provide that. If you're only getting married in two months, we adjust, obviously. But what happens once you have that quote in hand is it is a soft hold on the date. It is not a guarantee. It does not mean that you're booked. It just means that I have you flagged in my calendar. So if somebody else comes looking at that date, I will tell them that I am still available. But the next email that I send is to you to let you know that somebody else has inquired for the date and I'm working to move forward with them. But before I would get through a consult call with them, I'd want to make sure I knew your intentions. Most of the time, it it doesn't, you know, have any large impact. I either have the initial couple book or say, nope, no, thank you. Kind of a decision is made, which is awesome. There's only been a few times where I didn't hear back. I did a second consult call. I sent out a second quote, and both quotes for the same day within an hour of each other, they booked within probably 15 minutes of each other. But their weddings were going to be about an hour apart in start time and unfortunately about two and a half hours apart in driving distance. So it's not bad after 12 years to only have one double booking to really note, but I don't like to have it. It's frustrating. So, really, when your quote comes in, I do as much as I can to have the date held for you, but I also need to move forward with the business just in case you don't book, especially a prime summer or I'm not sorry, spring or fall date. Yeah, a lot of people want them. And I can't do a formal guaranteed freeze on a date for a two-month window to decide the best I can do is a softhold until you decide that you are ready to book. How does booking work? Well, there's a deposit, it's non-refundable, but it does come off of your balance. It's not an addition to like a retainer. And there is an electronic contract. It's nothing crazy. It's not even in legalese. It's more of, well, what if you're sick? What if we're sick? What if we change the date? If we change the start time, are you voiding the contract? Nope, not at all. Here are the five steps that we're going to take if you need to change the start time of the ceremony. But with those two things in, you are officially on my calendar. I call it Sharpe'd onto my calendar. And I put the whole date then as booked. That way I don't have to think at the moment about travel time nine months in advance. I don't have to, you know, keep you hard set to a time that you booked, you know, more than a year in advance with your venue because things adjust and things change. And so that my calendar on different wedding sites shows that I'm not available. If someone still reaches out, they would get the, hey, I'm not available, but depending on start time, or I have a friend I can refer you to. So then things normally go a little quiet on this end. And I have some couples who have been a little like, what do you mean, quiet? Like, where do you go? Do you just ghost away? I don't go anywhere. I'm still here. You can still reach me. But given that I'm working with like a rolling group of weddings, I'm not constantly checking in because I'm doing all of the lead up prep for the weddings coming before yours. I like to tell couples really to think about it as cross the ceremony off your list in the time that we are quiet. Go focus on your other details. Finalize the guest list, buy your dress, make sure that your caterer has had you for a food tasting, just all the other details you need to worry about. I tap back in at two months before the wedding. And that's really, really when we dive in. So you, me, your spouse, we're gonna have a mutual to-do list that talks about ceremony scripting, the personalized details that were in your package, the timeline, and if there have been any changes to start time location, because at the two-month mark is when I then do hard holds in my calendar for actual travel time, actual start time. If you have a unity ceremony going on, how we want to work everything out for final payment so that no one is scrambling to find a checkbook on day of, the plan for your rehearsal, whether we're gonna do Zoom or it's in person and I need a date and time, and getting your marriage license. And so the two-month mark is really where we go from we have an officiant booked to, okay, we we have a plan. Like we have a ceremony, script cupping, we have all of the details of when Amanda's gonna be where. We're starting to see it all come together. And doing it at two months out, not only does it make sense for the license, but I like to write the scripts to reflect the couple closer to who they are when they say I do. There's a lot that can happen to people as we get closer and closer to weddings. So if you talk to me nine months out from your wedding, there could be whole babies born. There could be family members that pass away, there could be jobs gained or lost or adjusted. And what that meant for you guys as a couple to come through, I want to make sure is reflected in the script to really capture your whole story, not who you were nine months ago when I first talked to you and you first said, Yeah, we're gonna get married. It's gonna be fantastic. So we spend those two months diving into all of those topics and making sure that each one is checked or not needed or where it is in the process, just so that we are on hand. We'll do a rehearsal. I always have a rehearsal included. The type of rehearsal, though, depends on what you're looking for in your package as well as what timing looks like on my end. Some rehearsals are done on Zoom, some are in person. Some we hop, skip, prayer it, and I just give a little more time when I arrive on site to touch base with everyone, kind of very informally. It's perfect for really small weddings. So then we get to the actual wedding day. And I stroll in ready and raring to go. I stroll in far before start time because I want to get the lay of the land. I want to make sure I have your license from you and answer any last questions you have. I want to touch base with the other vendors and let them know what they can expect from me, how this process goes. And I just want everybody ready and to gauge how everything's going. I can't imagine anything more stressful than like you book somebody and they show up, you know, five to 10 minutes before they start. Because in my mind, you really need them on hand for last minute things. Because this is where the Minister Plus mindset of mine comes in. If there's something I can do to help, I'll, I'll do it. You know, if I'm there half an hour before start time, couple has no questions, the groomsmen know their spaces and places. I have the marriage license on hand and I see a little kid struggling to dress a dog in their wedding tuxedo, I can gladly help with that. No, no, even ask needed because everyone else has their own thing that they're doing. I can help with this. So I like to just jump in and take that time to really get familiar, get confident, and get comfortable. I make sure that after the ceremony goes off really, really smoothly, that you have your copy of the marriage license, that I have reassured you that I am returning the final portion of your marriage license, and that you know that you don't have to do anything tonight. You don't have to do anything for the rest of the week or two weeks. Just go enjoy your night, enjoy your party, have a wonderful honeymoon, and we will talk in a few weeks. My role doesn't end with you may kiss the bride. I see the license out the door, back to the county. I do follow-ups to make sure the county's received it. I follow up with you guys as a couple two weeks, one month, and six weeks after the wedding for anything else that I could possibly help with. And then you're married. So cool. You celebrate, uh, all the paperwork's in, everything's done legally, it's perfect. And that's the wrap-up of the process. And really why it it matters so much is because your efficient isn't just someone who shows up and reads the words, just like any of your vendors on your wedding day aren't just the caterer. Like they also have to take allergies into account. They have to take timing under advisement. They have to be preparing in advance about the food and where to source the food from and how to get it, how to cook it, how to make sure everyone's having a good time. Nothing in a wedding world is just. So I like to tell people I'm the ceremony line leader. I can be a legal guide in terms of your marriage license. I'm a calming presence. You want to laugh a little, I'll tell you a joke. You need some clarity that your wedding isn't an absolute shit show. Trust me, I've got the stories of others. Yours is not a shit show. I'm the storyteller within the day. And really knowing what the process is ensures that your ceremony can be everything you want it to be, and that the layout is. Thoughtful, personal, smooth, and meaningful. So I know it's not atypical the wedding wear story. I promise I'm getting back to them. Just gotta ease into them again. So this is the wedding where we discuss the process. If you are planning a wedding, especially if you are in 2026, you should already be reaching out. You should have vendors. If not, please, please start now. Find the right people that are the right fit for you and your day and what you're looking for. And if you think that might be me, I would love nothing more that than to chat. The calendar is quite full. So if you have flexibility and availability, if you have flexibility, I have availability. I can make a lot of things work. And if you are planning further into the future or you just like listening in, you're all good. You got lots of time. You know who to reach when you need to reach them. But always make sure that you understand what the process is with your vendors. Don't be afraid of doing a consult call. It is really, really helpful to you than it is to them. And until next time, this has been Amanda. Thank you for listening to The Wedding Wear with Officiating by Amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on BuzzSprout and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment, and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the wedding wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at OfficiatingByAmanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, WeddingWire, and The Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to the WeddingWare Podcast at gmail.com. And if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmail.com. Thank you so much for tuning in, and until next time, this has been Amanda.