The Wedding Where...

Interview with Emily and Bobby - The Sequel

• Amanda Walck Ottinger • Season 1 • Episode 30

Share episode

Send me a message or any questions!

What if the best way to plan a meaningful wedding is to slow it down, laugh on purpose, and design rituals people can feel? That’s the heart of Emily and Bobby’s story: a small, dog-forward elopement followed by a family-packed “sequel” ceremony with a five-cord handfasting that brought parents and godparents into the center of the moment.

We talk through the craft of vows that actually land—how a single well-timed joke can center a nervous partner, and how to rewrite promises for different audiences without losing the soul of your words. You’ll hear how a custom father–daughter song, “Heart to Heart,” came from one simple line in sample vows and turned into a memory everyone still talks about. We also dig into practical wins: a weather pivot that moved everything indoors in minutes, breakfast-for-dinner catering kids loved, and a guest-photo system that guaranteed every family left with a portrait. If you’ve ever left a wedding wishing you had one picture with the couple, you’ll want to borrow this playbook.

Personal details make the day feel like you. Fandom silhouettes replaced table numbers, vintage frames kept it classic, and a teacup escort display doubled as a take-home favor guests still display. Emily’s handmade hair combs and tie clips became family heirlooms, and a table of home keepsakes—ticket stubs, mini-golf pencils, early love notes—showed a relationship’s timeline better than any speech. We don’t shy away from misses either: forgetting a memorial display, and how to prevent that with a “memory captain” and a quick officiant cue.

Along the way, we share advice worth saving: laugh more, especially when things get weird, and start couples therapy before a crisis. A neutral guide helps you sort money, family roles, fertility, adoption, or elder care so you can keep space for joy. Subscribe for more candid stories, practical planning tactics, and ceremony ideas that turn a busy day into a memory that sticks. If something here helped, share it with a friend and leave a review—what detail will you borrow for your big day?

Support the show

Thank you for sharing the podcast with others who may enjoy it! Share your funny wedding stories with me at theweddingwherepodcast@gmail.com. Any links referenced are on linktree.

SPEAKER_03:

Welcome to the wedding wear with officiating by Amanda.

SPEAKER_05:

Welcome back to the wedding wear. So we are diving into episode two, which is all about Emily and Bobby's weddings. That's right. Two. Please, oh please, I would highly recommend that you listen to episode one, which is out now, as well as I'll have them linked in the show notes, but a few other episodes that I did centered around their wedding, and I'm pleased to announce there's 15 more episodes that will follow this one as well. I'm gonna really dive into hand fasting, which is a Celtic tradition that we get tying the knot from. And Emily and Bobby made me tie a very thick knot as they had five record number, don't try to beat it, but five hand fasting chords. So we're still on, you know, glasses of wine here. Cheers. Cheers, Press. Letting this in, bringing this in. We can't forget Bobby. Love having the groom voice here. And especially as we go into the wedding day, I know with the planning process, you're kind of like, yeah, that was Emily. Pass Emily. Emily, that's your answer. Wedding day. I want your voice a little stronger, okay? You're gonna amp it up, right? All right. So we're gonna start with you. Looking back, what stands out as your favorite part of the wedding day? And for clarity, please start whenever you can with your elopement, wedding number 96. And then in the second one, if you want to call that, you know, the big wedding, you know, the family wedding, the 125, the sequel, the twofer, whatever you want to call it. But yeah, just give us a little bit of context, and that goes for you too when you answer as well, just so that we don't confuse the people at home. Should they also be several glasses of wine like we are? You're already confused. They're already like, who the hell are these people? Well, hopefully you sung with your family and friends and they know who the hell you people are, but if not, oh hopefully my listeners in Washington uh stay tuned, be like, all right, we'll forgive them these episodes.

SPEAKER_00:

So anyway, I I liked our our first wedding, how small it was, the intimacy of it of just our friends. And I don't know, it just felt right in the moment. For the sequel wedding, I like being on lookout and see all my friends and family, seeing how happy they were to see us. And what you mentioned the time the knot ceremony there. I thought it was pretty funny. My dad was trying to be funny. Because my dad is a Star Trek fan, not Star Wars. So he said, May the fourth be with you.

SPEAKER_01:

That looked so much to me.

SPEAKER_00:

Very out-of-character forum.

SPEAKER_01:

It's funny, they you know, the photographer took pictures of each person doing the the like blessing, so to call. And they placed it. And the one she took, the only picture is him looking at me when he said, May the fourth be with you. And it's like a very like special moment between me and my father-in-law, who I adore. Yeah, and like that is captured. That is the moment we have.

SPEAKER_05:

I love it. I love it. Well, and certainly, as we talked about in the last episode, guest lists are so hard to control and to really hammer down. You guys had big families. So when you looked out there, did it feel like 160 people? Or were you like, oh, 160, let me boom.

SPEAKER_00:

It still felt small, but again, I was, I was, I was looking out. I was looking out as every single person.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, getting to see that many people there, it really is impactful and important and just does so much to make you comfortable and confident with the day. And Emily, I love that you, you know, you've got that kind of great photo. We've got one of my husbands sneaking up on my dad because my we told my dad he was doing a first look with me, which he did do, but first he did one with my husband, and you just see my husband like just full-on like angry ginger elf. It's hysterical and hilarious. And uh yeah, so uh Bobby, I'm excited to get so much of your perspective in this in this section. So I'm gonna be coming to you first each and every time. I hope you're okay with that. Yeah, well, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00:

It's sound so good. I was nervous standing up there. I'm sure everybody is to the point where I was chasing a bit. So like when we got to our vows, I it wasn't in the script. It wasn't planned. Nobody knew it was coming.

SPEAKER_01:

But you didn't know.

SPEAKER_00:

Nobody knew.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I thought Amanda knew.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So I pull out the paper to read the vows, and I made a joke instead. And I made it sound like a shopping list.

SPEAKER_01:

In typical Bobby fashion, really.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But I got everybody laughing, brings the mood back down a bit, centers everybody, and then out with the profound stuff.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't think anybody expected anything less from me. Like, I think they were like, okay, Bobby is speaking in public gonna be a joke. Gonna be a joke here.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. I always ask couples now, especially when I help them with their vows, what percentage do we want to be at between sincerity and humor? And and I don't mean like, oh, well, he's telling all the jokes and I'm telling all. It's like some of that's fine as well. Like, again, if a partner is more meant to the comedic, right, let them carry some weight of it. But like, let me help you get some comedic timing in, some one-line, some zingers, even if they're ones that only make each other laugh. That's still one in my book. I want you happy and comfortable and confident up there. And to that point, that's why I do like that couple story section. It's so funny when couples get the questionnaire that you guys both did. You realize it's not really a couple story. Like, I don't want to hear about how you met. I mean, I want to hear it, but your audience has probably already heard it in some version or another. And we all need to be telling all the secrets, given it. Okay. Because some people have different paths with online dating and whatnot. So for me, asking those questions, like, what does your spouse do that annoys you? Honestly, I'm doing that for you guys as well as entertain the audience because I want you to laugh, to let out that air to breathe, to have fun, because it just makes the rest of the day so much easier. It really and truly does. And before I get chatting too too much more, I want to ask Emily the number one thing that was your favorite part of the elopement. It's like under the gun. The elopement, the dogs. Guys had great dogs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Until we got back into the room.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, whole that was a whole story. But and then when I got into your room at one point to wait for you guys with the license everything, I like I don't, I knew you had, I knew you had the dogs. I knew that they were there. But when I walked in and I think someone asked for like a water or something, I went to open up the fridge and I see like this whole thing of like kibble or dog food or something outside. I'm like, what kind of couple are they? Like, I did not put two and two together quick enough. Like, oh, their room, because I knew we were in your room. I'm like, their room is also where the dogs were, we're getting ready, we're staying for later. It totally. They were great dogs. Yeah. But I was like, oh, what did I just say yes to? Who did I just marry? Now, all right, quick, under the gun, under your head. Finger gun, not real, promise everyone. Favorite part of your sequel wedding?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, just spending time with our loved ones and our family. It was, yeah, that's like it was it was for people that don't spend a lot of time with us. The first time that they've spent an extended amount of time with Bobby and I seeing us together as a couple. You know, some people we only get to see on occasion and maybe for like five minutes at a time. And this was nice to really have have them see us and how happy we are together and all that fun stuff.

SPEAKER_05:

And and you had family that traveled from quite a bit too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we had some family that traveled, you know, it uh not from too far, but yeah, it was it was just nice. And a lot of people came out that again, we don't get to see them a lot, you know. It it so yeah, spending time with them and that was that was my favorite part of the day. I couldn't remember much else. I was pretty drunk for like a good portion.

SPEAKER_05:

Right, you you deserve that, yeah, having to adjust plans when you were the ultimate planner. I I get it, I get it. What was one small or personal? So again, it could be small. I am personal, small or personal touch that meant the most to you in your wedding day. We're gonna start with Bobby.

SPEAKER_00:

For the elopement, I would say I have my dog. That was that was different from any wedding I've been to, and I've been to quite a few. More than I care to.

SPEAKER_05:

No, don't invite Bobby to any more weddings. Only invite Emily and give her a plus one, she'll bring me.

SPEAKER_00:

That's fine. Fair. But yeah, it was just a something different that we were able to do from our sequel wedding. I liked all the small touches of the centerpieces of all our different fandoms being incorporated. It's a little touch of each thing that we're interested in, enjoy.

SPEAKER_05:

All right, kicking it now to you, Emily. So, one small or personal touch that you included in your wedding days that meant the most to you.

SPEAKER_01:

For the elopement, it was having our dog walk us down the aisle. It was nice to have the other dogs. Nebula. Nebula. Yeah, we only had we adopted her sister two days after. And then that was the other dog at the wedding. That was the other dog at the wedding, and that's her biological sister, same litter. But yeah, we only had one dog. And we're doing the princess. Gamora. There we go. Yeah, that's her actual Marvel sister.

SPEAKER_05:

I knew Nebula, but then again, that kind of went back to like the star thing. And I was like, Yes, I know you had astrology earlier, but you're not big into it. So I'm like, wait, I'm losing. Gamora as well.

SPEAKER_01:

No, Nebula's just a star. Nebula has a spot. Yeah. Okay. But then also Nebula because she's a Marvel character. And so Gamora, the sister. Yeah. Two so two days after our wedding, we're like, we're gonna have a day dedicated to our dog. And we went out and we got cheesesteaks, and we're sitting there, and he picks up the phone. After he talks, he looks at me and he goes, Nebula's biological sister. Their owner can't handle her, they're giving her up. I'm like, we'll go there today and we'll see if they get along. And he goes, How oh, this is meant to be. She'll have a sister and we'll name her Gamora. And that's exactly what happened.

SPEAKER_00:

And now they're inseparable. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah, litter mate syndrome is real hell.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe after a year.

SPEAKER_01:

But that was my favorite, my favorite thing from the elotement was just having our little puppy walk us down the aisle.

SPEAKER_00:

And the dress that you put on.

SPEAKER_01:

When did I made her a dress? And it did not fit her personality. We were trying to make her all fru-frou, and she's not, she's like a you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Nebula is not. No.

SPEAKER_01:

No, Gamora is. She's very girly.

SPEAKER_05:

I could see that. Yeah. Nebula. No. And once again, for those of you listening, surprise, surprise, Emily has a list, a pre-written out detailed points of what you'd like to say.

SPEAKER_00:

Now I'm gonna one point.

SPEAKER_05:

It's actually it's all so it's all the same thing.

SPEAKER_01:

It's just different points of that one thing.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, all right, because then when we're here, I'm like no, don't get nervous. Okay, so for your sequel, part duh, the sibling, if you will. What was your smaller personal touch?

SPEAKER_01:

Hands down father-daughter song. Which was so it well, we wrote it. You weren't there, so I don't get to see. I'll show you the video. I know, I know. Hustle or gotta hustle. We neither of us like to dance. And neither of you know, we were looking at songs, and some of them are a little inappropriate. You ever see like a movie where it's like make love to you and the father and daughter are dancing?

SPEAKER_05:

Or couples dance their first dance to I will always love you, which is a makeup song. Yes, it's like I'm gonna let you go because we're not great for each other. I will always love you, and it's like, please don't do that for your first dance song. That will need to be a whole episode, I think, of just me saying like songs you really shouldn't consider for down the aisle or first dance, because there's just some like like nickelback's far away. It's a great like rocker gym. Don't go down the aisle to Nickelback's Far Away.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't care how rocker you are, it just don't make sense. Yeah, we did what we did Here Comes the Sun for him. And then we did for everybody else, it was time in a bottle. Yeah. We bonded over that song on our first date. And for me, it was wonderful tonight because Bobby from our second date, this is how like we were on our first and second dates. He told me, I just have this like idea that at my wedding day, I'm gonna sing this to my bride. And so we weren't gonna have Bobby sing at the wedding, but I think Do you sing well? No, oh okay, no, his tone depth when he sings, when he whistles, that is not the case. I don't know what's wrong with him or what's right with him, really. But I love all of it. But yeah, I sang at the wedding, which I was terrified about. But my dad and I are like, you know what? My dad is a full-time singer-songwriter now that he's retired. And so I said, Dad, let's just write a song. And he's like, where would we even start with that? And I so I started looking through examples of vows for inspiration.

SPEAKER_04:

And this was like what two years before Chat GPT was a real thing. How much would that really help you? That would have been great.

SPEAKER_01:

No, yeah. I we wrote that 100% by ourselves. I just I saw something in example vows on like one of those websites, like the wire or the knot or whatever. And somebody said in their vows, we may not always see eye to eye, but we do see heart to heart. And I was like, that's a song. So maybe I we can't copyright it probably because I stole that intellectual property a little bit. But that was our song was called Heart to Heart. It was about how my dad and I have always been at odds, but I can't imagine having anybody else for my dad. He can't imagine having anybody but this pain in the ass for a daughter. And no matter what we have not been able to see eye to eye on, we've always been heart to heart. We've always been connected through love. And like the love between a parent and a child is very sacred.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. And I loved it. You know, when you will talk a lot more with your hand fasting, but you had so many wonderful people incorporated, and one of them was your dad. And let me tell you, some of my favorite people to interact with at weddings are fathers of the bride and fathers of the bride. Because I can put on my like, well, hello, sir. Like, I'm gonna ask you for a big donation because I'm a fundraiser voice. Right. But I also put on the like, but you probably were a wild man when you were young, and I know what 18 to 22 year olds do in a frat basement. So let me and those two together and I go up, I'm like, okay, so you're you know, you're gonna come up with this cord, you're gonna get to do this, you're gonna get to sit back down, okay? Or when I do when fathers traditionally walk down their bride and your your mom walked you down, but when dads typically do the giveaway, I'm like, hey, when you get down there, like you don't legally have to say anything. So when I say who gives this woman in celebration, not in possession to, like in celebration of this marriage, you can say, I do, her mother and I do, you betcha, here you go, Bobby, have at her. And then when Bobby comes to shake your hand, you can like give him a pat on the back, you can slap his ass, you can tap him on the back of the head, whatever your relationship is. And I can tell so much about family dynamics by how that adult male reacts. I will also say that when I show up at weddings, and again, maybe we didn't have a rehearsal. We all know that brides and grooms look a lot different on their wedding days, especially from when I might meet them on a Zoom to full pieces of makeup and tan or pale or sick or whatever. I don't, I show up at a venue and I don't often know where I'm supposed to go to meet with the couple or to see the couple or anything like that. Sometimes my minister still lets me in the front door, which is really nice. But if not, I look for an older man dressed in a rented suit because that is someone of high importance. And even though they have very few answers, they know very few things because they did not plan a single thing. They can tell you where the bride or the groom is at any given time, which is their superpower. And I love them for it. And so I easily go up and like, hire you, puppet bride, bother the groom. Okay, I'm looking for the couple. Amanda, minister, where do I go? Oh, up here? Oh, he's had a few beers. All right, let me go talk to him. And I just let it fly. And your dad was very much one of those guys that like, I when I saw him, I'm like, here's your cord, don't hold that up. I'm gonna put it at your seat. Here's how you're gonna do it. Follow me, you got me? Okay, we're good, we're chill. I love that. It was so great. If you could relive five minutes of your wedding day, what moment would it be? And just a little bit of the lie.

SPEAKER_00:

The moment the ceremony was complete, right? When we officially become gestures over there, when we were officially married. As much of a pain in the ass as you are, you are now my wife at that moment.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, I mean, you were officially married when I signed the paperwork and when the ink tried. But in a ceremonial context, yes.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Stop your clock. In fact, there's a few weddings I've been to where there's like an older aunt in the audience who will have like a clock, an old school clock on her, and will literally stop the clock the second that it's I pronounce you husband and wife, and they give that then as the gift and say, This is exactly when you got married. And I did a wedding, you know, the date really mattered for you. Weddings, I had a couple, they wanted to get married 1231 of 23, because it would be 123-123. Okay. And so it was very cold, frigid on New Year's Eve at some reservoir somewhere in northeast Pennsylvania. Frigid. Oh, oh Dor. So we were we were frozen, but I worked with them and they wanted a five-minute ceremony, and I said, I will do you one better because it is so cold. Actually, they win like seven minutes. I'm like, I will do you better because it is so cold. I will start the ceremony at 12:30. I will have you kiss at 12:34. So you got married one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, four. Amazing. They loved it, and thank God because I was frozen. But you you also saw that relief, like ceremony's over. And I normally have couples like turn and face outward to see everybody. Yeah. And where you guys were in the gazebo, it's like, you're you did it. Ta-da la la la. There's like a real finalization to that moment.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm so glad that you did that because that wasn't something I thought of doing. I didn't get to the punk. You did, you did. Like it was like I I didn't, I don't know if I fully expected that, but when we did the rehearsal, you had us do it, and I was like, oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_05:

I played puppet master. Oh no, for any couple, I will wholeheartedly play puppet master. You don't have to remember where I tell you to turn in the day of, you just have to trust me, listen to me. I'm not gonna take you off a cliff. Just turn and go, and we will be so solid and so perfect. So, Emily, what do you have as your favorite uh favorite part of the day there?

SPEAKER_01:

So Bobby's Bobby stole my answer. So I gotta go with his. So for me, it was that's why I made the hand gesture. He stole mine. For me, it was I read the wrong line.

SPEAKER_05:

That's the five-second clip. I'm gonna keep going over another time.

SPEAKER_01:

For me, it was walking down the aisle together at our elopement. That was super duper meaningful. Just being able to, you know, turn the corner, see our friends and family, have our dog literally like yank us down the aisle. That was all fun and good. Yeah, walking down the aisle together was a wonderful experience.

SPEAKER_05:

And it's rare. I I don't have a lot of couples that she does. I've done a few. They get married at the Lazerne County Atrium at the courthouse, which is fine because it's the only place of like bring your own minister, which is Yeah, bring your own bartender. Yeah, bring your own bartender. And the couple like walk out from the sides and like meet in the middle, versus try to make an aisle out of a place that really doesn't have an aisle. But I love that you guys came down together and you guys have always had such unity as a couple, and you do a lot together. And I think every email I had to you, you're like, I've shared with Bobby, Bobby's copied, we've been CC'd, like there was not a missing link or connection between, which is honestly really, really rare. Um, which I absolutely love. So I think we talked, we hit a little. I think you know, yours was the moment we became husband and wife, yours was, you know, walking down together. We're both of those for the like elopement. Yeah. Pretty much. For me. What do you got in the sequel? What was what was really, really great in the sequel?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh that our I started our vows with a joke.

SPEAKER_05:

I like I like that you wrote your own vows both times because again, you knew I was writing a script twice. We we adjusted them as time went on. We started small, we built it larger, and same thing with your vows. You had very simple ones at the elopement that were personal, meant things to you. You both laughed wholeheartedly. Those are some of my favorite pictures at the elopement because I held the mic for you guys. Yeah. As much as I tried to get out of the way, you still have you're holding the binder, you still have my face. I'm laughing hysterically. Yeah. The funny stuff. I loved it. So I love that you did your own vows, but they weren't the same both times. They were adjusted, they were augmented, they were made to fit who you were in that moment and that time.

SPEAKER_00:

And who the audience was.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah. That's a very true point. Yeah, we weren't gonna make a dick joke around our family and the vows, right?

SPEAKER_00:

I was trying to figure out how to do it without you noticing this time, but I got over the one that was again with the beginning.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not gonna happen again. Otherwise, I would have had to like make an announcement at the reception to everybody, and I was drunk enough that I might have.

SPEAKER_05:

So And then for Emily from the the sequel, what was what was the five minutes you'd love?

SPEAKER_01:

The hand fasting ceremony. Yeah, it was really it was really, really nice. We we had our parents and our godparents come up and place a chord each, and so we had five chords, and each person someone beat it. You're gonna have to start charging per chord for your hands again.

SPEAKER_05:

Right now, I I make a little bit of a profit going up to a max of five. Yeah, but yeah, more than that, I'm like, it would definitely it would be hard.

SPEAKER_01:

It would be hard to do. And we oh, I hate to admit this. You still haven't done anything with them. We still have them as you tied them in the box. So you arranged it nicely. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05:

Thank you very much. So I don't know, maybe that's the thing that you do with the the build a bear with a heart. Like if that's if that's your or your gift to him, then your gift is that you have to do something with the heart. Maybe if you still have a program, you put the program behind it. So we never book the whip. You layer them, you put it in like an and shape. I've done that with a lot of weddings where they'll have like the line glasses, yeah, and I like drape the cords in like an and shape. Yeah, just do something, get some little like those frog push, I call them frog push pins. I know, yeah, I don't know what you mean. The dissection butterfly frog push pins. Get those to help tack it in, but again, let it live. Yeah. Put pictures, polarids, whatever you got. What I liked with your hand fasting, and again, I'm gonna do a whole episode, maybe when I hit a thousand lessons, uh, a whole deep dive into hand fasting. But yours was the first one. We've often had, I've often had people who have selected your hand fasting and they pick colors based on the couple or based on kids. But it was me always doing the placing, and I would explain the symbolicness, like, and oh, this was the chord picked by Joey, and oh, this chord means this, and oh, this chord means that. Yours was the first wedding where I wasn't wanting to be in the spotlight for it because you had such meaningful people pick such meaningful chords, and you emailed several times, like, I'm so sorry, I have to add another chord, and my mother wants this one, and then my dad for this, and no, and you again with your lists and your organization, you were very clear like these individuals have this chord for this reason. You did a lot of my symbolism for me, which is glorious. So I'm like, this is all really meaningful, and I want them to have that moment. And picture-wise, I'm sure everyone's got a great backside, but there is nothing that irks me more as when someone gets a picture of like walking up to the altar at the stage, the arena, whatever you call it, and all you have is their backside. So I'm like, I am purposely going to take myself off to a corner as long as my mic can travel with me, as the mic will travel. And we left that third, that space free for them to come place that cord, put hands on both of your arms, say something sweet. And because the mic was away, they could feel comfortable and confident saying the things that they really wanted to say, the things that it meant for you guys, because you hand someone a mic, sometimes they feel like they gotta ham it up, sometimes they feel like they gotta, you know, shut it down. Your dad. So that way it just got to be private. And I feel like that meant so much, I don't know what they said. I was too busy, like, and next up is like I'm playing. And that's my role, and I love that. So I think that each of the important people in your lives got to have that special role, and that you were saying you've got those great pictures of like, yeah, they're up there right there with us.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, the way I think about it is like in October, you married us. In May, they married us.

SPEAKER_05:

But you guys actually tied the knot. So you did also marry yourselves.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

You committed to it. They they blessed the union. Yes. That was like pieces together. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Was there a moment during your special days that surprised you, whether for good or bad, better or worse, uh, to use some marriage language?

SPEAKER_00:

So when our somebody's very detailed plan went off the rails and we had to move everything inside.

SPEAKER_04:

For the for the the sequel wedding, the big wedding.

SPEAKER_00:

Everybody was just happy to pitch in and lend a hand and move everything in. I get you're talking of two minutes tops. Everything was inside.

SPEAKER_05:

But surprised you.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Because everybody just jumped right into it.

SPEAKER_05:

No questions asked.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

You got some good friends there.

SPEAKER_00:

Friends, family, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And Emily. I was most surprised by the support we got. There were some people that were against us getting married at that point in time for whatever reason. And those people still showed up, supported us, showered us with love. That was, I mean, it was the best surprise you could get is like you're expecting drama, and instead you just got love. And and that that was great to just be surrounded by that.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, I think a lot of that speaks to you guys as a couple. You're very much a, you know, we are here, take us or leave us, get on board, get on board, come aboard the train. Like, right, there is a time to hear your thoughts and concerns, and then there's a time to shut up, sit down, the train has left the station. And I also think that given the fact that you were already married because of the elopement, they had no choice but to. The train has already left the station. And I've said this before with couples who've had kids already by the time of their wedding. Right. Everyone in that audience, they're already family to your child. So there's no like, oh, I wonder how this will play out. No, you're already seeing each other for Easter's and Thanksgivings and Christmases. You are already blended, you are already family. This is just the ceremony that makes it legal in the eyes of the law. And so, yeah, no wonder everyone has a rip-roar in time. It's because you've been dealing with like a toddler for like two years, which is a lot of fun. So, moments that surprised us are always really, really great. But I know that there's oftentimes at least one moment, one little thing that could be changed. Good, bad, or indifferent. So, starting off, Bobby, what would you change about your wedding? Which which wedding and what would it be?

SPEAKER_00:

Probably having our parents and siblings there.

SPEAKER_05:

For the elopement.

SPEAKER_00:

I think we both agreed on that. Like we would have if we did it again, we'd want them on there.

SPEAKER_05:

So you'd like stretch it, you go up to like the 15, like you beg and plead with and a turkey hill be like, listen, we are not surpassing 15, but like it's that.

SPEAKER_01:

As perfect as everything was for the elopement, the biggest regret was not having our parents there. Like it felt very weird texting my dad after getting married and saying, Hey, we're married. Like just sending him a selfie and saying, like, hey, we got married. Like he knew we were getting married, but like he just wasn't there to witness it. And my family were all troopers about it. They were like, We're uh we're sad that we. Don't get to spend that moment with you. We'd love to witness it, but we trust your judgment. We respect your decision. Yeah, my my family was amazing about that. And I I really wish that we had had more of a traditional, like my dad walked me down the aisle in that sense for the actual day we got married. It felt a little incomplete. And you know, that's that's really the only only regret. Everything else was great.

SPEAKER_05:

Again, with the technology we know of today, and now like it's I don't I don't want couples to have any regret. Like I re I accept choices. So when you're like, hey, we're doing small, we're doing a lot, and like hush silence, don't say a thing. I I've had couples that I've already married before, and when I get to the wedding day, like the second celebration, I have to pretend like it's all for the very first time. Yeah, I'm not allowed to open it at all. It is so in hush of silence. So there's something brave about Ari having been open with it that I think could allow everybody at the second ceremony to be like, oh, they are married, but like they elected to do this again. And for us, and the money and the time, I think that also spoke a lot to the amount of time and care you put into it. You didn't have to do it. You could have looked and said, hey, things bye. Like, we're already married. We don't have to do any of this drama. But given what we all know now, you know, I often throw out there, hey, I got Zoom, I got the Zoom Pro, I pay for it. You want me to live stream it? You want me to record it? You want me to do something? Again, I was still coming about COVID. You guys, I think we're the first super couple, not as a COVID-impacted couple. So I'm like, they just want super? Sounds awesome. But again, being able to throw that in to make sure that, you know, even if it's a hey, I'm not happy with this family member right now, so they don't get to know that aspect of my life, yeah. Having the video of it to be like, hey, later on, if you ever want to see, like, here's where we got married.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. No, it it only would have been so smooth as it was the way we did it. Yeah. They like the the decision was definitely a sound one.

SPEAKER_05:

It's the double edge. So you had a really calm, great, perfect and fitting for you elopement. But the double edges, you had to exclude some people because it wouldn't have been the same experience if you had them. Yeah. And you always have to do what's best for you, and you only know what you know in the moment.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, right. Hindsight is 2020. We could have done it differently. It might have been okay, but we did it the way we thought was best. It worked out.

SPEAKER_04:

And you're still married. A whole yeah. You're well, you're an until waiter. Woohoo!

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So, Emily, and then we're going to make sure Bobby's got some feedback on this because he's been missing a little bit in the feedback section. You just pop on in when you got something to say, okay? Don't let us run the conversation. What is one thing you would change about your wedding?

SPEAKER_01:

We forgot at the sequel ceremony. We're so wrapped up in the last minute things. We did forget a lot of things. But the thing that really pains my heart is that we did not do anything for our departed family members. We did all the setup. We had a sign that said, you know, if heaven weren't so far away. We didn't do a moment of silence. We didn't do a damn thing. And we even like we spoke to family members that we weren't really on speaking terms with to get photos of departed loved ones. And we had all that set up. My grandfather had died a month before. And we did not, we just forgot we had everything and we forgot to put it all out. It was in the same box as the It was in the same box as the programs we forgot. And it was heartbreaking. I mean, I still paid, you know, I still honored my my pop-up Chuck by wearing Chuck Taylor's both weddings, but we didn't get to honor any of other our other family members that weren't able to be with us. And that I would love to go back and redo that.

SPEAKER_05:

And that is one of those quick ad libs that I think had I not been maybe paying detailed attention to your maid of honor, transcribing your vows, going, Oh, this will be a future podcast episode, even before I knew I was ever gonna do this, and helping your mom with teacups. If I had like taken five seconds to notice the memoriam, I would have been like, oh, let me just get a thumbs up that that's okay. But that's a quick on the fly. I am so good at adding that in. And it just totally even slipped my mind. I just had a bride though that her mother passed about two months ago. And they were trying to have the wedding happen before she passed and very fresh. And so I said, you know, do you want a moment with silence? And she goes, that's gonna be too much for me. So please don't. Like we've got enough touches for her, but we need to be good. And Bobby, with the sequel, because I know your first one would be a elopement of not having everyone there. Is there anything you would change with the sequel?

SPEAKER_00:

More or less the same thing. There was somebody there that I would have wanted, but because of all the drama going on, it just didn't work. Yeah, it wasn't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I wish I wish things would have worked out so that they could have been there.

SPEAKER_00:

But it's getting better now, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

No, we're we're doing our work to build our relationship with this person as well.

SPEAKER_05:

And I think that we were talking, you know, earlier offline that, you know, hey, you want to go to Hawaii for a tenure, I'll get you a good rate. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Hawaii, I will go do a renewal.

SPEAKER_05:

Bring me. I will go. Yeah. Whatever we need to do to kind of get you a third chapter, fourth chapter, fifth chapter, all chapters in your story. I might have been the best priced officiant at the start. Oh, I'm a lifetime officiant, though. You'll yeah, yes, you are.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't think fifth rates are. You you charge me whatever.

SPEAKER_05:

I've got my first baby blessing at the uh start of June for a couple that I married. That's sweet. And so I'm like, I could be a lifetime minister. I'm doing a baby blessing. I've done four funerals. Not that I like to do funerals, but no, I'm kind of like I like to do funerals. I can be a lifetime minister. I can be a lifetime minister, man. So no, your five-year, your tenure, your year, whatever you hit, you you keep me in mind. I'll come.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know if you can see the light bulb above my head because I didn't think about that. Like, I I don't want to do a baptism because I'm not religious and I feel like that would be like sacrilege.

SPEAKER_05:

Girl, I got you bumped. And again, blessing in the term of blessing is just a well-wish and a feeling. Yeah, call it whatever you want. The number of people I have that read up in my scripts and they're like, oh, we really like this reading, but like it's called minister blessing. I go, because I think calling it minister reading is really weird. Like that's what it is.

SPEAKER_03:

Minister well wish, come on.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, whatever and semantics. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of a baptism or christening, they're doing a big blessing, which I love. So I think that there's a lot of ways that as you guys grow with your family and your friends and as a couple and over time, keep me in mind. Not to say we can have a elopement, a sequel, a trio, a part doser, you know, whatever, whatever you want. We got has become a trilogy. Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_04:

May the fourth be with you. Now we have to do it. You have to do a trilogy. We have to do it. You have to do it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm marrying you a third time, baby. I love you. Trilogies are a thing.

SPEAKER_05:

You have to off the gun, quick and fast. And I I put out the purpose of you are welcome to say me, but if you say me, I will also ask for you to say somebody else. What was your favorite vendor or service and why would you recommend them?

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's the same for both of us.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Who's the caterer? 100%.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we only because we can't say you. Okay. Like it's you, but it's also the caterer.

SPEAKER_05:

But you're the first couple that hasn't tried to at least be like, well, it's you. But no, thank you. The caterer. So tell me about your caterers.

SPEAKER_00:

There was drop them.

SPEAKER_01:

Give them all the senses, everything. It's I I knew them as Sullivan's catering. They might still be Sullivan's catering. They're located near Hackett's Town, New Jersey, but they also might go by Michelle's Bistro now. Send me a link. Yeah. I'll put it in like the show notes. I will. They are family-owned. I have worked with them on several occasions at different like dinners and events. I've volunteered, and I've literally watched their kids grow up working with them too. And I think one of their sons was there that day too. And he's like, Congratulations.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, you know, there was not a single bad dish.

SPEAKER_01:

What was the favorite thing that you had to eat?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't remember what I ate. I just knew if I was happy with it.

SPEAKER_00:

I think you sampled everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Just know I ate it and went, oh, we did, we made a good decision. Yeah. Every people still talk about the food. Yeah. And it was breakfast food.

SPEAKER_05:

It wasn't like it was like, I like, I like the I like the little breakfast part that I had at the start. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Had to leave out. Like we had kids at the wedding. You did. I guess no kids are as picky as could be, and even the kids were as happy as anybody else.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, because we got chicken tenders, and that's partly because I was afraid you wouldn't eat anything but chicken tenders.

SPEAKER_00:

Not that bad.

SPEAKER_01:

But they make good chicken tenders.

SPEAKER_05:

They're good chicken tenders. Are they in like your top five chicken tenders?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Do you remember eating that? Like, I don't remember eating, but I know I know. But you also said you had a little bit to drink. I had almost an entire bottle of fireball in like a 15-minute span. Okay, so your opinion doesn't count on what I did. Yeah. I can't remember eating it. It was good though. It was so good.

SPEAKER_00:

I had a heap. I just piled up high on that plate and had a little bit of a little bit of a flood. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We knew we were like, okay, this is probably the only time we're gonna get to eat. So we're just gonna get as much food as we can on these plates, and it worked out.

SPEAKER_00:

We also didn't have an MC. So we were announcing which tables we're going.

SPEAKER_01:

We were announcing ourselves everything at the wedding.

SPEAKER_00:

And finally, somebody came to us like, hey, stop. You're the the couple.

SPEAKER_01:

We go eat. Yeah, we got to a point where we're like, if you didn't eat already, just go. Like if there was so much food too, they had everything in ample supply. And we took home how much. We donated some of it.

SPEAKER_00:

I took a home, a whole tray of bacon.

SPEAKER_01:

We yeah, we wait, you tell me that was an option. I want to say if I knew I could have a whole tray of bacon. It was like five pounds of bacon, and that was gone so quickly.

SPEAKER_00:

But yeah, we had everything for the following week.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we donated what we thought wouldn't keep to the organization that runs things. Yeah. That way they could make a couple dinners out of it, or they had a mother's breakfast, right? But the rest, man, we took home and devoured it. Oh, I just oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05:

So I love that you guys said food. Food is definitely a huge, huge thing at weddings. In fact, it's where a lot of people spend the highest percentage of their budget bros, food drink venue, like setting-wise. But then the other part that people spend a lot of time and money, talent, treasure, that whole balance in is in the theme, the vibe, the personality, the touches. And we've already talked about how you guys had some very fandom strong aspects. I won't say strong. You didn't let one fandom overcompass another. You had a very blended, nice balance between your uh your attire being very, you know, British-esque, very classic, very Edwardian era, turn of the century. So what was your favorite incorporation of your personalities into the day? I changed the question a little bit. I know that's two notes. That's a good one what was your favorite incorporation?

SPEAKER_00:

I would still say the center pieces.

SPEAKER_01:

Tell people more. Tell people more. Hold on, Bobby. What were the centerpieces?

SPEAKER_00:

Was it the centerpieces, or am I thinking of the uh the table numbers?

SPEAKER_01:

You're thinking of the table numbers.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Because we didn't actually have table numbers. We had the main character of the different fan fandoms that we enjoyed.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. It was it was a vintage frame, or I made it look vintage. And inside of the frame was a silhouette of the character. So there was no like crazy Super Mario, but there was Super Mario. It's just the silhouette. Yeah. And that was that was the table. So when you when you came into the coffee hour, there was a teacup. It had a label with your name and your silhouette. And then you would take that. It was a little elaborate. You would take that tea cup. A little, a little elaborate.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm sorry. I this was when I had to put on my minister plus role, which comes with almost every wedding I do. There's always something above and beyond that is not my damn job that I do. And it was the teacups. It was the teacups alongside your mother and having to have them strung and be just so and a certain way. And then was there a zug? Was there a zug? Why am I remembering a Toy Story? Zug? Z-U-G- No, no. Zerg. It's Zerg. Zerg.

SPEAKER_00:

But no, it was not.

SPEAKER_05:

No, no. There was Darth Vader. Okay. Maybe that's what I was remembering. There was one that like somebody didn't match up or there wasn't enough of. There was a misprint or a radius. Assassin's Creed table.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. The Assassin's Creed. It had Ezio on it.

SPEAKER_05:

There was Assassin's Creed Creed. There was something just off. And I'm sitting there like, and this is this is the use of my time. Amanda, you showed hourly, and this is this is where you spent your time. Just know. Plus, there were I put push pins in something. I stole push pins. That's the cork board where they have all of the other business cards.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm like, I should leave my business card here because this isn't far. It was the it was the sign with the music, the Spotify music codes that everybody could look up a playlist. Yep. Yep. I did that too.

SPEAKER_05:

But yeah, you guys had so much personality built into your day. And those teacups, man, they will probably haunt my vision.

SPEAKER_00:

Still trying to get rid of the plates that go with them.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, and the teacups were gone. Call me because I've got like three teacups from like my bridal shower, my own like other things. I'd be interested to see if the plates match, because that could be that could be a conversation. Although, let me say, and I'll get you the information from my husband's aunt. She took a set, I did like a Bridgerton-themed bridal shower. Yep. So very, you know, like, oh, blues, purples, everything in my wedding was purples. So they were teacups, and it was like a royal tea, because you know the British. So Nick's aunt took one of the teas, cups, and saucers, and she sent it to a company that made it into a ring and jewelry boulder. Oh, I love it. So I'll send you the link because again, if you end up with like, oh, we still have one of this and one of that, might be a good repurposement and beneficial as we have watches, we have rings, we have lots of other fun things.

SPEAKER_01:

I yeah, I had talked about I had talked about doing that myself, and I'm like, I don't have the equipment.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh let them do it. Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't bad. Like I less than 20 but like it wasn't bad. You send it to them. I think shipping on it and the shipping back is like the highest that everybody took those home though.

SPEAKER_01:

The teacups and saucers are gone. Okay. Everybody took them home. We go to families' houses and they still have the teacup and the little the little label that you probably tied on there. They still have it in their homes.

SPEAKER_05:

So on the way out of here, I'll show you the hedgehog and I'll explain more about the hedgehog. Okay. So I think Emily, we missed you on this question here. For those of you just joining back in, we went on a side tangent. So if it sounds like we are half a cup drunker, it's because we are half a cup drunker and I had to cut the content. So ha ha ha. Sorry, not sorry. Though if you want to be a subscriber, loyal fellow listeners, I don't know. I might release uh some uh snippet content. But Emily, what was your favorite incorporation of the personalities into your day?

SPEAKER_01:

It was by far the display of items that we had from our home that we either like have on display or just things from relationships. Right? Yeah, we had things that we've saved from day one, like a little cocktail napkin from a date or pencil from minigolf. Yeah, the pencil from minigolf, Valentine's Day cards that we've given to each other that weren't dirty. And they laid it out in like the bargain. We laid it out. It was just a testament to our love and our relationship. And there were actually some things that you could read there too, like, you know, like journal entries from when we were first dating of like very silly things that Bobby did that I like to take note of. Yeah, there were there's everything and pictures from our first wedding, just keepsakes and mementos that we've held on to. I would throw the box.

SPEAKER_00:

I'd throw in there too the uh tie clips you made for the groomsmen.

SPEAKER_01:

I made tie clips for all the groomsmen, I made earrings and hair pins for all the bridesmaids. They all wore them. And what were like the patterns on one?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh they were customized for the person.

SPEAKER_01:

Each person had I went and for the ladies, I went and got vintage jewelry. I super glued it onto combs. I put like, you know, it makes it all one color metallic in the colour. And it looked pretty nice with like their off-white lace dresses. Yeah, it was it accented nicely because I couldn't find any vintage hair combs. And without paying a dime and a half. Yes. So I asked each person, what is an animal or a flower or something that you identify with? And then I made custom for everybody. And his dad, I didn't, I didn't ask him because I didn't feel comfortable at the time with the dynamic. So I made him a Star Trek tie clip and he wore it to the rehearsal for your sister's wedding. Your nephew wore it for her wedding. Like it and it's become a family thing. It just it made it made my eyes well up with tears that like because here when you're in when you do it for a wedding. Right. You you always think your stuff looks like shit. But then when someone's actually using it and enjoying it, it's really heartwarming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, I had to ask because I know with your first the elopement, you had a really great tartan. Yes. And in fact, I asked you where you got it and you said Amazon. I put the link on like my wish list. I ended up with two of them. So I'm now selling one of them because I landing one. So I wondered, I was like, oh, like in I could see that so beautifully tying in with the outfits that the guys were wearing. Yeah. So I was like, oh wait, I I don't remember. I didn't inspect your groomsman up to up and down. I'm so sorry I didn't, but I didn't remember the tie clip. And I'm like, hmm, yeah, okay, what were they? So that's really great that you made them personal for everybody. You made a lot of things personal for every single buddy, which was absolutely wonderful. And I love that you've gotten to have really deeply connected emotional moments since then because of those personal elements. But as you look on the days of your wedding, what was those really emotional moments for you? And again, you might have already said them. Echo them again. It's totally fine. You don't have to come up with new answers. I know some weddings aren't, you know, 20 minutes long, they aren't an hour long. So let's start with our man Bobby, our favorite man, Bobby. Sober boy here, because you know, we're polishing off the line.

SPEAKER_00:

So I I got really emotional at the elopement, uh standing up at the altar in front of our friends, like waiting for that moment when we were officially married. Again, at the ceremony. Yeah. Payproperity signed.

SPEAKER_05:

No. Well, what I loved in that that space from my perspective was that we all, there was a really nice bench lip to the kid, and we all sat down. And I always joke with people, I try so hard these days not to be in the middle unless I'm actively speaking or talking or have a rule because you don't need a third person in your marriage, let alone a minister. So I love that outside of your vows, I got to sit. And even when I pronounced you, I'm out of the way. I am so far out of the way. You guys really got to be locked eyes together in that moment. I now pronounce you husband and wife. And so to hear that that was really great for you, that that is the world to me. Yeah. And what do you have for uh your sequel, sir?

SPEAKER_00:

So for the sequel, I was nervous on the walk-up.

SPEAKER_05:

Because yes, you're already and everyone was standing for you because I made them.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, everybody, yes, everybody was watching. I am as clumsy as can be. So the whole time I'm walking, I'm like, don't trip, don't trip, don't trip. There's a there's a lip here, don't trip over that.

SPEAKER_04:

The ground is soft.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. So when I did make that initial joke in the vows, that was to make everybody laugh, but that was more to call me calm me down, get me back centered. Centered.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And my dear, so with the elopement, definitely listening to Bobby's vows. Hearing you, like he got emotional. There is this awesome picture of me wiping away his tear. And there's one of those at both weddings. There is an image. I'll show you. There's an image of me wiping away his tear at the elopement, and then there's one of me wiping away his tear at the sequel. You need to do them side by side. And yeah, you want to leave the void space for that, that trio that we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yeah, because I have the gray hairs or between the oh my god.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that. My poor honey, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01:

Three days again, free. We're pretty on three. Yeah, yeah. No, that like that was very very emotional for me for the elopement.

SPEAKER_05:

And I think as a show, again, the fact that it was repeated later on at the next wedding, yeah. A show to the family as well. We are here, we love each other, we are secure, we know there may have been questions, doubts, thoughts, feelings, opinions, which everyone is entitled to. But the fact that I'm still here wiping a tear for my eye, like on that girl.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you bet. I'm I'm here to wipe away all your tears, honey. Uh, you can't wipe mine, there's too many. But for you, right.

SPEAKER_05:

Now, again, she causes the gray hair, but you'll wipe the tears. It's a fair shelf, right?

SPEAKER_00:

As long as I still have here, I'm okay with it. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Oh my gosh. And anything from the sequel or just the fact that that was an unechoed that experience.

SPEAKER_01:

That and the walk down the aisle. So everything was super symbolic, even if nobody caught on to it. So I had my mom walk me to the aisle because my mom raised me for the first portion of my life. I had my dad walk me down the aisle, but we stopped. There was no who gives this no. We stopped. He let I let him sit down. I stood by myself, and then I walked to Bobby. And that was like, my mom brought me so far, my dad brought me so far. This is me in you know, in my own finding my way to you and and dedicating myself to you. That was so emotional for me. And very strong, very strong. Yeah. It it it to those who got the message, it was strong. To anybody else, they're like, oh, he forgot to say something.

SPEAKER_00:

Which is weird now.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Again, the number of fathers of the bride that I talk to, practice with, that still forget their lines. It there's a high amount of them. So it's all it's possible. But there's a lot of strength in that, and there's a lot of really great, you know. I I I did. I did the searching myself. I was an adult. I entered this with a full head, happy heart. I knew what was going on. This was not my arranged marriage of my parents. This was not what was going on. And again, it's a lot of again, I follow Burish royalty. So a lot of Megan Markle when she went down, you know, her father wasn't able to be there. So she went down for a bit by herself. Yeah, that's uncommon. And the the very symbolicness that they wanted that to be everything in its right turn and right time. So ceremony-wise, because we know reception-wise, there might have been some drinky drinks. Yeah. I did have another bride on who was like, I was like, How'd you stay present in the moment? She's like, I didn't, and tonics. Um and thinking on kind of your pre, your start, your ceremony, and again, maybe even a bit into the reception. How did you stay present and soak up the day while it was happening?

SPEAKER_00:

So I don't really drink.

SPEAKER_05:

No, you don't. You're on water.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_05:

He's our he's our good man, not judging us as we call through two balls of wine. Except for your bachelor party.

SPEAKER_00:

That's the exception. We'll tell you about that later. But uh, I usually don't drink or drink a lot for that matter. So I remember everything that happened throughout both ceremonies. And even then, I would sit there and sit back and take a moment and again look out at the crowd and just look at every individual person.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And just enjoy the fact that they were there and enjoy that moment.

SPEAKER_01:

I liked our nieces came over and sat on our laps, which is like so like any party we have ever like get together with a family, they're always like right there with us. And it was the same thing. Like they they just sat with us and hung out with us, and then we were sitting on the ground with them. It's just like I think it was just a normal hangout. Like a family barbecue. Like they like, and a lot of people like treated it in that way where it was like it was much easier to stay like present and in the moment because people just treated it like, hey, we're hanging out with you, we're having a good time with you. Not anything super crazy.

SPEAKER_05:

So the last question I realized what I sent you was, you know, slightly out of place. It talked about planning versus wedding. We're in the wedding section. What? So what is one thing you think that couples forget to consider? In in the wedding, in the day of, in execution, I know for I I hear a lot of people go, it goes by so fast, it goes by so fast. Again, you only know what you know, but what is something that you think others often forget during that that that execution phase?

SPEAKER_00:

I think you hit the nail on the head. It's the unpredictability. You plan for every possible scenario and something's gonna come out of the field hit you. Right? All week we're up to our second ceremony. The weather was supposed to be 70s to 80s. It was supposed to be a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_04:

A beautiful May the 4th.

SPEAKER_00:

Day of, I think it was in the 40s.

SPEAKER_05:

It was so cold. At least it wasn't like today, though. I mean Today was gross, yeah. For those of you listening in, this is probably going out in like July. So we're recording on their one-year anniversary of their big formal celebration, May the 4th. And for those of you that celebrate, May the 4th be with you. My husband, yeah, got me addicted. Watching the new season of Andor. I'm there. Oh. And yeah, the weather here in Northeast and Central and Middle and South and all of Pennsylvania has been absolute crap. And I drove about three hours to get over to this interview. And probably every 20 minutes I hit a downpouring storm followed by 10 minutes of traffic because someone didn't know how to drive in the Pennsylvania rain and got into an accident. So yeah, no, I think the least of concerns was like, Oh, it was a little wet underfoot. I do remember that after cutting, it was a little wet underfoot, but oh, it could have been way worse. Yeah, yeah, way, way worse.

SPEAKER_00:

And then we had to have a contingency.

SPEAKER_01:

It was just not ideal. We planned it so that, yeah, we want it outdoors, but we could quick move it in. And that was with all of the venues we looked at, that was always an option because we knew early May, so unpredictable.

SPEAKER_05:

In New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania. Yep, it is. So, what is something you think people kind of fail to think about in execution in the day of?

SPEAKER_01:

People forget, I think, photos and not in the sense of like, okay, you take your family photos, whatever. We've been to a lot of weddings where we didn't, as guests, get to take a photo with the bride and groom. We felt like we were bothering them if we asked. Even if they have like photo booths and stuff, we just we didn't want to bother them, but we also wanted something as guests, you know, as close friends or whatever, to remember the day. So we remedied that by telling our photographer, hey, each each guest or group of guests that comes through, you know, if it's a family, we're taking a picture with them. And we we printed those photos out and sent them with our thank yous. So not only did they get a thank you, but they got a little token from the day. And we always have photos, you know, it sucks when I hate to say it in this like morbid way, but like when great aunt and Aunt Sally passes away, you're like, Oh, I don't have any pictures with her. Or you only have a picture with everybody. Right.

SPEAKER_05:

And you only have a picture when she was a senior in college and she's 24, and no one seemed to capture, because especially as like moms, you take the pictures, you aren't in the picture. So depending on how you spent your life out in front. Front of the camera. So I think that's a really beautiful thing of making sure like we've got a picture of them as they were. Yep. Healthy, happy, in old age, which we all celebrate and love to be at a great, joyful event.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. That was it was very important to capture ourselves, which again, you always capture the bride and groom and their immediate family, but to capture our guests as well.

SPEAKER_05:

With a professional photographer. I love that. One of the things I will say though, because again, I was I was guiding people to hey, take a picture, pause for a picture, don't go there, take a picture. Yeah, you're corralling them in. I was, and I I've done it with more and more weddings, is like there's often a six-week to 12-week turnaround time on the professional photos. Yeah. So couples have a really hard time like, not couples, but guests have a really hard time like not looking with their own phone because they want a picture in the moment in the day, and their own photo that they maybe don't have to remove a watermark or pay for or something like that. So I love that you guys did a personal photo in with it that was professional. But I think, again, maybe if you're your trifecta, your third, you consider getting a me or somebody of a similar vein. Not professional. But as the couple walks up to you to get a picture with you, I take somebody's phone. That way you've got an instant in that moment picture that's theirs. Plus, there's the professional. The professional will come, it'll be great, but that's in your memory. If something were to happen and you don't talk or you're like, oh, it's blurry, they blinked. They might not care that they blinked. I know you care that they blinked. They might not care that they blinked, but that way they've got it right away. Yeah. And in their own storage and memory bank. Plus, it also means that there's two places that that photo exists in some way, shape, or form. When I got my photos back from my wedding, it's like great. It saves here, a cloud, a hard drive. Like we can get the memory, these anytime. And there's a lot of people that again, like when I went around to the table pictures at my online, they're like, oh, like I blinked. I'm like, and that is the only picture I have of you at the wedding. Yeah. I'm glad I have at least one because I don't have one on the breastfeeding table. But yeah, you blinked. Yeah. But at least it exists. But they had to wait almost three, four months to even get that picture up in the world because I didn't use it as my thank you cards.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Oh, well, and our photographer, she didn't edit the photos, so we got them very quickly. It was me not sending out the thank yous. It took me six months to send out those thank yous because I was lazy. So then we blame we blamed the photographer, but it was me. I was wrong. How many times say that? Say it again. I was wrong.

SPEAKER_05:

I want you to say, Bobby, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Bobby, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm gonna get struck by lightning tonight.

SPEAKER_05:

Drive safe, okay? Because you need to be the driver.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, he's driving out.

SPEAKER_05:

Awesome. So, in as much detail as you want to share, and again, it's up to you, you know, locations, names, all that jazz. What are you up to now? You've been married for officially more than a year, celebratory a year. What are you up to now? What is life?

SPEAKER_00:

Not much has really changed. I mean, we're just doing what we did before, just tackling whatever comes our way together and dealing with the best we can. Still doing jobs, yeah, still opening the jersey.

SPEAKER_05:

I judge you a little for it.

SPEAKER_00:

We judge us too, don't worry.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, we can't afford to move, is the problem. Well, it's like when I told my mom you guys are coming over from Jersey, she's like, Will they hit the sinkholes? I'm like, no, they're they're in North Jersey. They're yeah. And I'm like, I don't know, mom, maybe she's like, uh, Jersey.

SPEAKER_02:

They're in North Jersey.

SPEAKER_05:

We don't, yeah, we do not live in that Jersey. Somebody's not walls.

SPEAKER_01:

We don't live in the mall part, we live in the farmland part. So okay. I got it, I got it.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, yeah. So in wrapping up, what is one piece of advice? And again, I know you got married twice, but you only get one. One piece of advice for newlyweds. What would it be?

SPEAKER_00:

Laugh more. Like, don't forget to enjoy the small parts of it and the reason why you're getting married in the first place.

SPEAKER_05:

And almost seek out those opportunities to laugh. Exactly. Like again, if you're in a if a situation whether it's dark humor, light humor.

SPEAKER_00:

It makes everything so much easier and memorable.

SPEAKER_05:

And it also helps the other person in the space with you. If one of my favorite quotes is if you can laugh at yourself, you're going to be fine. If you can allow others to laugh with you, you're going to be great.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So embracing that kind of hey, I don't need to be a comedian, but if there's something funny that other people could enjoy, let's just share it out.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. If you make one person laugh a day, it's a good day. Even if it's just yourself.

SPEAKER_05:

Even if it's always me. Well, that's how you know you found the right person.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, you have to laugh. It's new.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, what is in my vows, it says indentured audience member for life.

SPEAKER_05:

It does. It does indeed. So, Emily, what would you give as a piece of advice to nearly what's so I cannot recommend couples therapy enough.

SPEAKER_01:

I know people don't talk about it, right? Because if you say you're in couples therapy, that means something must be wrong. We just started recently with an amazing couples therapist because you know, we we want to be parents, but we've we've been trying since really before the allumpment and things have not been going according to plan. And sitting down and talking with that person about, you know, what what are our options or finances or literally anything? Marriage is a big change, big change, especially if you don't live together beforehand, you don't have a joint account. Like a lot of people are very separate beforehand, and marriage is this big merging, big, big change. And with big changes in life, it doesn't, it's not embarrassing to have a third person, objective person helping you. And it's it's not, you don't have to have something wrong to go to couples therapy. Right now, I wouldn't say there's anything wrong in our relationship. But if things continue as they're going for the next 25 years, there could be something wrong. So if we nip it now and we make sure we're having healthy and open communication, then those things don't become issues down the road because we know we can handle them. And it allows us to focus on the things in a relationship that matters. It allows us to focus on laughter rather than, oh my God, are we gonna be able to pay our bills this month? We didn't, we didn't think about this, or you know, I'm I'm worried about adoption, or you know, like we can actually focus on other things because our minds aren't cluttered.

SPEAKER_00:

It helps having that soundboard of a third person too.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Yeah. I've had a few couples ask, you know, oh, you know, and a lot of them grew up Catholic. And they go, oh, do you do pre-mal accounts? And I go, I'll be very clear. I'm not a counselor. Yeah. I am more of a sounding board, a I'm gonna ask a question, I'm gonna drop it on the table. You tell me, have you talked about it? Are you in agreement with it? Is it a source that you need to talk more? Just kind of give me your temperature. I'm not judging. And I'm also not guiding. I'm just saying these are the top 10 reasons couples, you know, have struggles or have issues. And if you tell me, we've already talked about kids, we already know where we stand. All right, I might probably look further from my either my own experience or experience of friends, you know, what would you do? You know, how much would you invest in IBF? How much would you is adoption on the table? Is abortion if there's something wrong on the table? You know, I'm not giving you the answers. Tell me if I talked about it. Tell me if you still need to, if you just want to talk to each other. I'm not even here. Yeah. But just have those conversations. And it is so important to make sure you know where the lines are in the sand, where the hard lines are, where the soft lines are. A lot of couples don't have that conversation, especially the younger they are. The older they are, great. They've lived life, they've seen shit. Discussing wills, discussing elder parents. Where will parents go? Yeah. As much as we all hate to say, like, oh no, they're on their own. Are they really? Or is there a line where you're gonna step in and what does that mean for you and for yourselves? I always tell my husband the greatest blessing he gave me was two living grandparents. The greatest curse, two more living grandparents. Because dad will not live more than 10 more years, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

Like much more do we have? Yeah. I go through a lot with with that type of stuff. Like we have a family member that we're we know somewhere in the next 20 years, probably gonna have to live with us. And they're a young person, so that's a lifetime commitment. Something we talked about way in advance. Because if you can't handle it, I certainly won't be able to handle it. We gotta agree.

SPEAKER_05:

And a lot don't, and I don't know if it's the enrapturement of love or if it's the I don't want to show you all my dark, scary parts and all the cobwebs and the closet debts, loan debts or anything. That's another thing, you know. Oh, well, it's in my name. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it it doesn't matter until you're saying, Oh, I can't do, I can't help, I can't afford, we can't. And suddenly then it is their problem and their their downfall ultimately. So that's a lot of stuff there. But I want to thank you guys so much for being on the podcast for digging in deep to your weddings, you're my first twofer, both of them couple weddings, wedding 96 and 125. Again, 125, big milestone. I think I was a little like, okay, I'm running between 15 minutes right now. I don't think I saw it the way I should have seen it, but I'm so excited for you guys at you know, more than a year of marriage, a year to the date of this recording of celebration. That's what I'm calling it. You've had more than a year of marriage, but you're celebrating one year of celebration. Yeah. I think that's how you have to call it.

SPEAKER_01:

And this is I again, like this is everybody's been wishing us a happy anniversary today. Whereas on October 25th, I put up a post on Facebook that was like, happy anniversary. And people are like, huh? Like, they don't understand because we didn't announce to the internet that we got married until New Year's. So, aside from our close family and friends that we told, we we let it sit for a couple months too before we announced it. So people did not know.

SPEAKER_05:

So, again, it's the anniversary of your celebration of your of your commitment, which is really, really great and powerful. So, like I said, I've got a few episodes that tie into the wonderful weddings that Emily and Bobby had. Please listen, like, share, subscribe. Next time, I will hopefully have another wonderful couple joining me after I did two segments with vendors. I'm now getting back into some couples, and we're gonna hear a lot more on the wedding wear.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you for listening to The Wedding Wear with Officiating by Manda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Busfraut and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment, and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the wedding wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at OfficiatingByAmanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, WeddingWire, and the knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to the WeddingWare Podcast at gmail.com. And if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmail.com. Thank you so much for tuning in, and until next time, this has been Amanda.

Head Shot

Amanda Walck Ottinger

Host
Head Shot

Emily and Bobby

Guest

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

History Tea Time Artwork

History Tea Time

Lindsay Holiday
Queens Podcast Artwork

Queens Podcast

Queens Podcast
Office Ladies Artwork

Office Ladies

Audacy & Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey
The Rewatchables Artwork

The Rewatchables

The Ringer
This is History: A Dynasty to Die For Artwork

This is History: A Dynasty to Die For

Sony Music Entertainment
Drama Queens Artwork

Drama Queens

iHeartPodcasts