Back to the Aisle: Officiant reacts to Frank and Monica's wedding on Shameless

A vow can land like a lightning bolt—simple words that suddenly feel heavier than the room they’re spoken in. 

Thank you for joining me back from my break - a whirlwind stretch of 29 fall weddings, a new nine-to-five, and a house move, I’m back with a new idea: officiant reacts. We unpack Frank and Monica Gallagher’s vow renewal on Shameless, and use their messy, memorable promises to explore why certain lines stick—and how you can shape vows that survive the noise of real life.

I share what surprised me about their words, the tension between promise and action, and the quiet power of remembered vows. Then we get practical. You’ll hear how to anchor your vows in specific behaviors, how to avoid filler language without losing heart, and how to weave in family tie-ins—readings, heirloom details, meaningful music—that add depth without hijacking your ceremony. We also talk about the “priority gap” couples face after the confetti falls, plus simple ways to revisit and renew your promises so they keep working for you in year one, year ten, and beyond.

Whether you’re writing vows from scratch, tailoring traditional lines, or simply curious about what makes a ceremony feel honest, this conversation is your guide. Stream it now, share your favorite vow line, and tell me which fictional weddings you want me to break down next. If this episode helped, subscribe, leave a review, and send it to someone crafting their ceremony today.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back & Life Updates
• 2:55 What This Podcast Is About
• 5:20 New Format: Officiant Reacts
• 7:04 Shameless Setup: Frank & Monica
• 10:46 The Vows: Words That Stayed
• 14:10 Imperfect Love, Real Commitments
• 17:20 Family Tie‑Ins & Ceremony Meaning
• 21:00 Do You Remember Your Vows
• 24:20 Listener Invitations & Next Steps
• 26:20 Closing & Ways to Connect

Transcript

Speaker 00: 0:04

Welcome. The wedding Where with officiating by Amanda. Welcome back. Oh my goodness, guys, it has been so long, and I am so sorry for kind of going MIA after our little vow mini-series. But let me get you all caught up.

Speaker 00: 0:43

So as we've talked about before, I obviously am an officiant. I do weddings. So we got into kind of the chaos of wedding season being the fall. September had 16 weddings. October's got 13 weddings. It's just a lot. And so finding the downtime to do this episode or any episodes has been a lot. So kind of put a pause on that. I was like, okay, I'll do the little six-week vow series. That'll buy me some time until I'm able to finally edit some of the wonderful interviews I've done, get back into the swing of things, and then got some great updates for my life. So I got a job, got back to the normal nine to five, loving it. Very thankful and happy and supportive to be back with my beloved sorority, Sigma Kappa. And as if we didn't need to add another log onto the fire, my husband and I bought a house. And so from the like end of July, early August, I mean, we'd been looking, but we put the offer in like first week in August. Oh gosh. Yeah. It would have been I started out my new job August 3rd. And then I went out to Indy for a week for work. We got our offer accepted. We were ready to go in the house. We moved in like the August 22nd. So that was what three weeks' worth of chaos shoved into. Yeah, it was like a lifetime's worth of chaos shoved into three weeks. And then we just dove right into all the worth that the house needs, obviously, fall wedding season. And it has been a lot. And I've felt bad every single week. My calendar has reminders that's like an episode should be out. And it hasn't. So thank you for hanging in there over the break. And maybe, maybe I just need to give myself a two-month break every year, especially as I get into the fall wedding season chaos. But suffice to say, I won't also be in the start a new job chaos or the sell and buy and move a house chaos anytime soon.

Speaker 00: 3:12

If you are just now listening in and you're like, what is she talking about? What's going on? Who the heck am what is this? My name's Amanda. I am a wedding officiant. I've been an officiant for 11 years now, and I run my own business. I do wedding ceremonies, elopements. I do lots of different unity elements normally within the ceremonies, as well as sometimes non-legal like commitment ceremonies or just, hey, we love each other, and that's all we really want to say is that we love each other. No need to be crazy with it. I have also branched into doing funerals and baby blessings and a couple other things that still fall in the life celebration realm, but weddings are my main bread and butter. And in the last 11 years, I've done more than 200 weddings. And this podcast was started in January as a way for me to be able to share the stories of what has happened at these weddings and what I've learned. Thus, the wedding where was born and has been an absolute godsend in the beginning part of the year when I was without a job. It gave me a very key focus and something to really spend my time on. And I'm also really big into personal growth. And this was just the next great outlet for growing in the business space, but also knowing that we were going to be moving, not going crazy with booking a million weddings miles and miles away. Although I did do that as well. I've put more than 10,000 miles for weddings. Yeah, almost 10,000 miles this year for weddings alone. So that's kind of what this is as a get back into the swing of things. I tell stories about weddings that I've done and I give information and insight about things you might want to consider for your own special day, or even if you're just here for the tea time, I'm here for that too. I also have gotten into some interviews, interviewing brides and other wedding-related vendors, talking about the key advices that they'd give and the key moments that they would maybe have a soft follow-up on. But as I come back in today and try to get myself into where I can do this again weekly or maybe every other week, depending on what we've got going on, I wanted to try out something a little different. When I started this podcast, I built up that it was going to be three key features. So one third of it was going to be story time and advice. One third of it was going to be tips, tricks, maybe not connected to a specific wedding, or maybe through the interviews I do, very connected to specific weddings. But that's kind of where we bring our vendors in is the tips and tricks that they would also recommend, the take it or leave it kind of advice without a story truly connected to it. And the last third that I've wanted to get into is almost like Officiant reacts. But I don't have a face for YouTube, at least not that I'd be willing to admit. So you won't see me doing like an officiant react to weddings and movies and TV shows visually. But through audio, hey, maybe, maybe we give that a little bit of a try.

Speaker 00: 6:59

So that's what I wanted to do as a little special to bring us all back. Is I'm reacting to Frank and Monica Gallagher's wedding on Shameless, or uh I should say vow Renewal, because I don't I don't think it was really legal. I don't know how many times they have or have not been married legally or otherwise. They're just a unique, absolutely unique couple. And I found it really liking it more than I thought I would just because of how chaotic Frank and Monica are. If you haven't seen Shameless at all, I would recommend that you maybe take a watch on it or clip notes or something. I will try not to be divulgent in this episode, but you you really would get a lot out of it if you had the full context of what I was talking about. So take a pause pin here. Come on back to this episode. I'll see you next week. So Frank and Monica, on again, off again, messy, chaotic. And yet there is something to them that is deeply connected. No matter how many times Monica goes away, Frank can't seem to shake her, always looking for her kind of that great love of his life. And I think if they weren't so incapacitated by drugs and alcohol, maybe theirs would be that great love story. You don't really have a lot of those in Shameless, though. Nope, not at all. And I was ready for the vows in this renewal aspect to be very, don't you know how I love you? Gosh, you're my best girl, and you know, Monica to just be oh, and all these beautiful kids that you gave me. And I was really surprised by their raw, imperfect, but truthful and surprising vows. So I'm gonna really dive into that one. I will say, during the last two months-ish, since this podcast, I have been, I've been watching some TV. I've been listening to more podcasts. So shout out, gotta do it, to digging up the Duggars. I'm absolutely loving you guys. I'm digging on you guys, if you will. Maybe there will be a time where I watch one of the Duggar weddings and react to it, because that could be a whole industry in and of itself, given how many kids they have and weddings that were televised over the years. But suffice it to say, as I got back in, I really did find comfort in TV shows, especially in the old familiars. And every single one I watch, I go, oh, yeah, I could talk about that on the podcast. And so I really had a whole other list of ones I might start with, including like my Big Back Greek wedding, or oh, uh side story of, you know, were they really married, yes or no, but like still like those heartfelt moments and how you might think about bringing that realness and that rawness into your ceremony without feeling like we just let the entire world in on how wonderful we are and how beautiful our love is. And it really takes me by surprise that Shameless is the one that kind of came out on top. So let's set the stage. It's Frank and Monica Gallagher. If you do not know Shameless, or it's been a while, I highly recommend a rewatch. That's a bit of what I was in the midst of as well. Frank is neglectful, conniving, alcoholic. He knows when to put the charm on, though. He knows exactly how to weasel and get just what he wants out of society, out of the system. And he's the dad of the larger family. And Monica is his from time to time wife, we'll say it that way. And she is equally unpredictable. They go off and tell many stories throughout the seasons of which child was conceived on which drug. She, Monica has bipolar disorder, and they are not an enviable relationship, not citing them in this as a couple you should try to be like. But I'm sure that they are more real of a couple or a depiction of couples in society than some other TV shows might have where everything's hunky-dory, rainbows and sunshine, and perfect, and you never see a hair out of place on a couple. So I'll at least give them that. They can be more real than others could be. So Monica and Frank in season seven, episode six, they decide that they're going to renew their vows. And Monica even puts back on the dress that had been hers. Uh, it's been altered and edited. And you go, all right, well, they're gonna do this. And then they get into a bit of an argument and a fight, and Frank is trying to calm Monica down. And through whatever snippet of his memory that resides from their first wedding, their wedding day, comes the vows that he says, which is, I vow to love who you are and who you become. I vow to build a family and to create a loving home with you filled with laughter and joy. I vow to be by your side no matter what comes our way. And when I think of those words, and then relate them to the Gallagher household, I'm like, ooh, those were the promises you made, but they necessarily weren't the promises that came true. Kind of half pieces and parts, you know. I vow to love you for who you are and who you become. Uh, there were certainly times where they have not loved each other. I vowed to build a family. They did that. Create a loving home. No. Laughter and joy. They have their moments, but they are few and far between. I vow to be by your side no matter what comes our way. And that's that's kind of really true for Monica and Frank, is that just that every time he comes back around to her and she shows up again to find him, they do sink right back up and get right back in with each other. So if that's the vow he kept, that's the vow he kept. What I think is the best thing that, or not the best thing, but the thing that got me most in these vows is that they were remembered. Now again, I know it's a TV show. I know that they're on a script. I know that this is not actually a man remembering the vows that he made all of those years ago. But in the universe that they're living in, uh, this is a man who forgets his kids' birthdays, who abandons responsibility at any turn and any chance he can. But these vows somehow are etched into his drug, alcohol, riddled brain. And that shows us uh the weight of these promises and the promises that you would make on your wedding day or the words that you say when you get engaged. There is something to them when you say something that really is of meaning and of heart, whether it's because you've said them multiple times throughout your life and your story together. And so, yes, of course you remember them, like that that often told family story that just is is as it is, or that you really just it just sticks with you. You like remembering what your spouse wore the first time you saw them. For me, as imperfect as Frank is, writing it in that he would remember these vows and be able to recite them to her. That's that was big. And in you in thinking of your own weddings or your own special occasions, what words live on with you in your memory? Is it as simple as the first time of I love you? And you remember the tone, the cadence, everything behind it? Is it a parent or grandparent saying, I'm proud of you, and just that word proud sits a certain way? What of the memory of words carries the weight? The other thing I will say for this reaction to the vows is that while their love is not aspirational, it is not ever even what you'd want for a friendship. They know that. They know that they are not perfect. They also know that they're fictional, but I digress. This is their story and they own it. They don't shirk away from, oh, well, maybe we shouldn't tell that story, or maybe we shouldn't mention this because, you know, others wouldn't understand. Nope. They put it all out there. They are Monica and Frank, take them or leave them. They are about this life and the imperfections that they've lived within them. And that's what gets me as an officiant is that when you're telling your story, whether it's on your wedding day or to your kids or down the line to your family, it's your story. Same thing with the vows. They're your vows. It's not about perfection. Your life isn't perfect, your love isn't perfect, your marriage won't be perfect. But you make the commitments anyway. You strive through it anyway. And that is something Frank and Manga do. They are all about making a commitment in light of the mess, in light of the chaos. In fact, their first wedding, I think they mentioned it was like maybe she was pregnant, drove down the road, borrowed a dress, borrowed being a maybe word, if I'm remembering correctly. They made their commitments as true as they could make them, as optimistic as they could make them, in the midst of all that they knew and all that they were accepting of each other. And remembering the commitments that you make and the vows that you make along with them, that's what really pulls you through to the end. Even if you stumble a hundred times along the way, if you said, you know, I bow to love you more and more each day, doesn't mean you have gotta love them every second of the day. It just means that when you get to the end of the day, the sum of the parts equals out to being bigger than the whole. And in reacting to these vows and kind of what Frank and Monica were trying to bring together anyway, is some of the tie-ins, as I said before, Monica is whereing her original wedding dress. And spoiler, in an attempt of Fiona to get married, it is the same one Fiona was going to where. And there's something really powerful in that for this family, no matter how rough and rugged that they are, there is a connection there. There is a desire to want to honor the past or be connected to our parents and our family members. And I love, absolutely love when couples work to do family tie-ins through their wedding ceremony, whether that is an outfit or first dance choices, or I've even had couples work with me in the script. And while the couple is not religious, they will say, Hey, we know our grandparents had this Bible reading in their wedding ceremony. It would mean the world to us to have a snippet and to have them know that that's how we're honoring them forward. Oh, I love it. The beautiful tie-ins to family. And then you've got the Gallagher kids, even. And though they sat there the whole time going, Yeah, yeah, oh, Frank and Monica, you know, they think they're gonna get married again. They think they're gonna figure this out. They they might maybe have $5 to rub together to make this all happen. When all of a sudden, all is done, they put aside their frustration, their heartbreak, the justifiable anger and stress that they have. And they celebrate with their parents. They're able to look at the situation and go, it's them, it's who they've always been. It makes them happy. And this is their night. And it's them all partying together, again, fair amount of drugs and alcohol. Not what I would recommend for a pseudo-wedding reception, but that's some of the power of love, weddings, and celebrating love is that even in chaos, people can pull together, people can reconnect and rejoice and have the time because you opened the door to make it. So all in all, I was surprisingly heartwarmed by these vows and these moments that they kind of had going into this. I didn't, I didn't really think that I would. Like I thought, oh, I'm just binge watching shameless in the background as I apply for jobs and try to get my life together. And then I heard those words and I just kind of stopped and was like, wow, that that is certainly something to promise. And it's something even larger to remember about those promises. So for those of you out there in the wedding world, are you married? Do you remember your vows? Did you just kind of go with the traditional, like, I name of person, take you, name of person to be my wife? And did you have any extra kind of meaning you said in with that? Or the minister said, repeat after me, Amanda? And that's all we did was repeat after me. If you wrote your own vows, do you remember what you wrote, why you wrote it, what you said? What were the actual promises? Did you say anything about unconditional love, or did you kind of acknowledge, like, yeah, there's gonna be times where I might love you until I hate you, but then I'll love you again? And did you put in any real historical evidence, I guess, behind the for better or for worse? I had a couple I married once, and they vowed to each other to share the remote, which I'm like, that's the most real thing I've ever heard in my life. But the groom vowed that he would shave his head with her if she got cancer again. And those real moments, vowing real things is the difference between we are maybe a little bit younger or our love is a little bit younger and we just met or just got together, and we don't have a lot of life that's necessarily been lived. It's almost like the start of Frank and Monica, you know, promising to build a great family and a great life and love and laughter to each other versus the realness of it, where with Frank and Monica, I don't think they would have had to have been together long to realize, all right, we might not be doing this totally right or totally the best way, but we could vow to love each other no matter what and through it all, even if you steal drugs or sleep with my brother or something crazy that the two of them did throughout their time. I would certainly love to hear what you vowed, what you remember vowing, and how long ago you're digging into your memory banks for those vows. Feel free to drop me a line, an email, a voice note, comment on a clip, anything. I'd love to be able to bring them back in. And certainly let me know what your thoughts are with these officiant reacts to weddings. I I know there's a few more down the road that are a little more traditional in nature that I'll be like, oh, debunking this myth. No, you don't have to ask for objections or debunking that. But this has been fun to get back into this. And I think it was really what I needed. Thank you for listening in. Thank you for coming back in with me after this break. I know that they really in the podcasting world are like, oh, you know, consistency, consistency, that's how you keep everything going. But there just was too much hitting the plate. So we're gonna see what we can do. I know winter will be great. Maybe I just start bankrolling a couple of episodes at a time and get ready for the new year that will be. I hope that you enjoyed hearing what Frank and Monica had to say. Once again, I'm not advocating them as a role model for healthy relationships, but words matter. Their vows did matter. They were nice to hear. And think on it yourself. Are there any other fictional uh weddings, movies, or TV shows that you'd want me to break down? I'd I'd love to give a step out, especially if it's something I haven't seen before and could kind of look at like a true officiate reacts with fresh eyes. This has been Amanda with The Wedding Wear. And until next time, I hope that you have a great day. Thank you for listening to The Wedding Wear with Officiating by Amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Busfraut and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment, and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the wedding where. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at OfficiatingByamanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, WeddingWire, and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to theweddingwhere podcast at gmail.com. And if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmail.com. Thank you so much for tuning in, and until next time, this has been Amanda.