The Father of the Groom had a LONG Speech

Have you ever sat through a wedding speech so painfully long that it made you reconsider your own wedding plans? That's exactly what happened when I witnessed a father of the groom deliver what might be the most uncomfortable wedding toast I've ever experienced.

The speech started with an ill-conceived toilet paper prop (yes, really) before launching into a methodical breakdown of all twelve points of the Boy Scout motto. For each attribute—trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent—he shared lengthy anecdotes about the groom. What could have been a touching five-minute speech ballooned into a fifteen-minute monologue that left guests squirming and groomsmen visibly embarrassed as they were repeatedly called out against their will. The experience was so impactful that I immediately went home and wrote "SPEECH TIME LIMITS" in bold Sharpie in my wedding planning binder.

This episode explores the delicate art of wedding speeches and the boundaries you might want to consider for your own celebration. Should you set time limits? Preview speeches beforehand? Designate someone to intervene if things go off the rails? When you hand someone a microphone on your wedding day, there's always risk involved—even with the most reliable people. I share how I implemented two-minute limits for parent speeches at my own wedding and arranged signals with my DJ to politely cut off anyone who went overtime. Whether you're planning your wedding or have been asked to give a speech, this cautionary tale offers valuable perspective on keeping toasts meaningful without testing your guests' patience.

Have you witnessed (or delivered) a wedding speech disaster? What would you have done in this situation? Share your stories and thoughts—we're listening, and maybe judging just a little.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to the Wedding Ware
• 1:46 The Toilet Paper Speech Begins
• 4:28 The Boy Scout Motto Marathon
• 6:42 How I Changed My Wedding Plans
• 9:26 Speech Advice for Your Own Wedding
• 12:29 Wrapping Up: No Judgment June

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Wedding Ware, with officiating by Amanda. The Wedding Ware. The father of the groom had the longest speech. Speech, welcome back to the Wedding Wear. This is Amanda, and you are catching us in the midst of our pseudo-series. We Listen and we Don't Judge. Well, for today I judged quite a bit. In fact, it caused me to judge so much that I changed some plans for my own wedding. So let's dive in. The father of the groom had a long speech, a very long speech, and it got to a point of uncomfortableness. It was a few years back, small wedding for a dear friend, someone I'd known throughout it's a college.

Speaker 1: 1:09

When I was working at the college I had just gotten engaged. I was maybe four, three, four months engaged and was starting to plan my own reception fully in observation mode, like, okay, what do I like, what don't I like, kind of building upon what I had already said. I always wanted from day one and I knew just like how meaningful it was to have parents give speeches, because they bring so much about who you are to the surface. Your friends talk about you know, high school and college, and sometimes some dumb stories about the people you were dating before your significant other. Your parents bring in those really key moments from when you were young, or even their observation of how you changed as a person when you met your significant other, when you brought them home to meet them and how they've bonded in with the family since then. So definitely knew like, yeah, I want parents giving speeches. My father's not one for talking, my mother makes up for that, but I definitely wanted parent speeches. So when I was at the reception, I was really excited for the speeches to come and, as we know, I don't normally attend receptions. See the wedding where I gave a drunken toast. So I was already a little like okay, be calm, figure this out, is anything going to be asked of you? Dinner was really great. I was sitting with a bunch of the other vendors and it was awesome. Always make such good friends at the vendor tables.

Speaker 1: 2:54

Then they did the speeches and the maid of honor got a little teary and the best man. He kept it short and sweet and heartfelt and then it was the father of the groom's turn. It was the father of the groom's turn Awesome. So sometimes I see the parents come up as one or you know each respective. You know the parents of the bride parents of the groom. They'll each kind of stay in their own camp, or one representative from each. I was informed that the father of the groom was going to be the only one speaking. Okay, maybe others did speeches the other nights, or maybe they didn't want speeches, or who knows lots of reasons. But cool, one more speech, that's it. That's all we have, and then we can dance a little bit before I have to go home.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Strike one he opened up his speech by saying well, this idea came to me while I was on the toilet and then proceeded to pull out a roll of toilet paper and like whip it out into the audience and let it unravel and unroll quite quite a bit, and there were points where I think he just did for show. But there's like Sharpie written along the toilet paper. Yeah, okay, that's a dad joke. That's not that funny, but okay, sounds good. Strike two His speech was themed, I'll say themed significantly around the Boy Scout motto.

Speaker 1: 4:28

That's right, that's right. Let's dig into your memory banks there. Do you know it? I have it pulled up. The scout law is. A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. That's 12. So when he started with that, I'm like, oh okay, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent, that's 12. So when he started with that, I'm like, oh okay, like that's kind of cool. I knew that the groom knew a lot of his groomsmen from Scouts They've been friends since kids. Like that's cool that he brought it up and mentioned it.

Speaker 1: 4:58

And then he went through each and every single one of those attributes describing how the groom had been fitting to them with not so brief anecdotes 12. If each one was done in a minute, that's 12 minutes for just that part. Then dad had, you know, about a minute and a half at the top and significant minute that's like 15 minutes for one person's speech. We were there, thank goodness I had given up on trying to hold my champagne flute to cheers because, oh goodness, and if that wasn't bad enough, then there was strike three. He began to drag in the groomsmen, all of them very embarrassed, uncomfortable, like oh yeah, yep, that was me that time referencing them in the stories, sometimes going a little too personal in the stories, and they really weren't having it. And the groomsmen who tried to kind of ignore him got like, no, didn't you hear me? It was really hard to watch and to listen to. And whatever had started out as laughter with the toilet paper gag, like oh, haha, that's funny. And what had gone with that oh, that's kind of good sentimental tying in the Scout motto dragged on and on and then it just became uncomfortable and we were not about that and we listen and we don't judge. I didn't judge, I was learning. I was learning.

Speaker 1: 6:46

By the time I got home I had already in my head come up with a plan, went straight into my big wedding binder and made a big note in Sharpies time limits, speech time limits and I pivoted it within my own wedding. Each of our parents was told that we really would like them to speak. We didn't just want one representative and they were each given two minutes of time. They were told in advance, they were prepared. They were asked to prepare. I can't say they prepared, they were asked to prepare. Can't say they prepared. They were asked to prepare. And the DJ and the staff on hand had been given the notice that if they start going long or if you see me, you know, start waving my arms and freaking out that you know, just grab your other mic and go. Thanks, that was a great speech. Great speech, because I was not. I was not risking this and by the time I got married the following year, everything was pretty good.

Speaker 1: 7:52

My dad said the same thing that he'd been saying for several months in advance. He knew what he was going to say and he just kept practicing it all throughout. So anyone who'd been around my dad had already heard what he was going to say before. My mom did a short little sweet story. My in-laws did great, in true fashion. My mother-in-law wrote hers out I think she was the only one who had it printed and ready to go my father-in-law he winged it Under two minutes. He winged it. He threw a little shade, but all in all they were good.

Speaker 1: 8:27

No one overstayed their welcome and I was so, so thankful because I really did after that one wedding, and that really long, not funny, not emotionally, you know, touching the soul speech. Yeah, no, thank you. And there are certainly times where a longer speech is called for or needed. If there's more people talking and they're all sharing in the limelight a little bit. If there's really good sentimental and emotional stories, reflections, moments to be had. Yes, by no means cut it short, but all 12 of the Boy Scout motto, please Ugh. So Some things to think about, especially as you might approach your own wedding day, is do you need speeches?

Speaker 1: 9:26

Do you want speeches? Are there some people you want to have speak and others that you only want them to speak? If they're going to say X, y and Z story, then you don't need them to speak. Maybe you take that story that you really wanted shared and you have it on your website or print it somewhere else. Let everybody read it at their own accord, because when you hand a person a mic, there is a little bit of risk involved in that. Even with me as a professional, you hand me a mic and I've got a script, but something happens, happens situational humor or raindrops, like I could go off script. I could. Haven't gone ever crazy before, but that is the risk you take when you hand somebody a microphone. So would you rather control it and say nope, not risking that something crazy is going to be sad, or that my mother is going to be a little drunk because she was drunk at the ceremony Different story and is going to say something and it's actually about my ex versus my husband.

Speaker 1: 10:34

So just always being mindful If you need speeches or you desperately want speeches because they are a really great way to involve other members of your bridal party or your family within the ceremony. Give them something special to just be mindful about who is speaking and what they might say, and you can feel free to have the conversations with them. Of like, don't mention this. But that sometimes backfires because if you, if they weren't even thinking about it and you said, of like, don't mention this, but that sometimes backfires because if you, if they weren't even thinking about it and you said, oh hey, but don't mention this. Now it's the only thing they're thinking about. Maybe there's a space of hey, can I read over what you'd like to say or can I get a copy of it? That way, you're not giving away your whole card of please, don't bring this up, but you've got a chance to catch it beforehand. And if you are going to do speeches or really anything where somebody else has some time, be prepared to cut somebody off. And if you are like, oh, it's my wedding day, I don't want to make that call, give the right and the power over to your coordinator, your venue person, your dj. Let somebody else be the bad guy if you need to, but do not let it. Go on, do not. And I had to laugh. I've.

Speaker 1: 11:54

I know most speeches for best men made of honors are all are all going with, you know, their cell phones. They whip out their cell phones for their speeches. Heck, a lot of times grooms will whip out their cell phones for their vows. So certainly, pulling out that long-winded toilet paper monologue, maybe he was hoping to go viral just because that is such like a dad thing to do and an old school thing to do was hoping to go viral just because that is such like a dad thing to do and an old school thing to do. But I don't know. What do you think what? What would you have done sitting there listening to that? Mind you, the bar was closed. You couldn't get up and get more drinks because we're in the middle of speeches, so I couldn't even make it a little like oh, sip for every, for every grimace of a groomsman, or a sip for every trait mentioned from the motto. But what would you do? And then, additionally, I mean Boy Scout motto is there a funny story you would have told at your wedding or at a friend's wedding that fits to one of the elements, a friend's wedding, that fits to one of the elements of the Boy Scout motto I'm all ears, drop me a line.

Speaker 1: 13:11

Next week we are going to continue with a little more of the we listen and we don't judge. No judgment, june. I love that, and until next time. This has been Amanda. Thank you for listening to the Wedding Wear with Officiating by Amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Buzzsprout and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the Wedding Wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit linktree at officiatingbyamanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, weddingwire and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to theweddingwearpodcast at gmailcom, and if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiating by Amanda at gmailcom. Thank you so much for tuning in and until next time. This has been Amanda.