Bonus Episode: Officiant Pet Peeves with Tristen

What makes wedding officiants silently cringe during your special day? Amanda and guest officiant Tristan pull back the curtain on the pet peeves that haunt even the most professional ceremony leaders in this milestone 250-listener bonus episode.

Nothing throws an officiant off quite like the jarring visual of a bride in a $10,000 designer dress at an otherwise casual backyard barbecue. This conversation dives deep into budget imbalances that leave guests confused and vendors questioning. The hosts share candid thoughts about wedding priorities and how couples might better distribute their spending for a more cohesive experience.

Ever wonder what happens when you hand your officiant a ring box with no warning moments before the ceremony? Tristan recounts her nightmare experience juggling unexpected duties while Amanda speaks to the frustration of arriving at venues where no one has considered the officiant's role. Their practical advice on communication might save your ceremony from awkward pauses and logistical disasters.

Perhaps most cringe-worthy are the vows frantically written at 2 AM (often after several drinks) that lead to everything from pronunciation struggles to inappropriate jokes that fall flat. The officiants offer genuine guidance for creating meaningful vows without last-minute panic, and address the uncomfortable dynamics of over-respect versus disrespect that they frequently navigate. Their stories range from eye-opening to hilarious, providing valuable insights for anyone planning a wedding ceremony.

Want to work with Amanda or Tristan? Contact officiatingbyamanda@gmail.com for booking inquiries or send podcast questions to theweddingwearpodcast@gmail.com. Your dream ceremony awaits – just avoid these pet peeves!

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Officiant Pet Peeves
• 3:25 Budget Imbalance: Dress vs Everything Else
• 8:28 No Plan for the Officiant
• 14:22 Last-Minute Vow Writing Disasters
• 21:50 Booking Too Far in Advance
• 27:22 Over-respect vs. Disrespect
• 34:47 Closing Thoughts and Contact Information

Transcript

Amanda: 0:04

Welcome to the Wedding Where with Officiating by Amanda. Officiant Pet Peeves. So today's episode of the wedding wear with Officiating by Amanda is actually the 250 listener bonus episode. Thank you so much to everyone who's listened. We've been on for less than three months, met this just shy of two months in. We hit the milestone and so I've been working on getting this together. Thank you to everyone on the Facebook page officiating by Amanda, who submitted in votes for what content they wanted to have for this bonus episode, and it was decided on Officiant pet peeves. The little irksome things that from along the ways and journeys, have made me go oh that again. Or you know, this is just something that when I leave a wedding, it still sticks in the back of my mind, and I'm very fortunate today being joined by a fellow officiant, Tristan, so I'm going to let her intro herself a little bit here, and then we've got a list of some pet peeves that we're just going to go through, maybe share a few examples of when these have happened to us or how they made our list somewhere along the way.

Tristen: 1:33

Yeah, hi, so I'm Tristan. I know Amanda by a lot of different categories too many to list, honestly but essentially I became an officiant under her so I helped her at a few of her wedding expos and then I essentially decided to start officiating myself. So it was about a six month process for me to get my first one and then, you know, actually officiate the wedding. So, yeah, I've done six overall. But, yeah, super happy to be here and celebrate all these milestones with Amanda. Yeah, and it just it came together.

Amanda: 2:12

We reached the milestone and you were coming in and Tristen and I worked together in a previous life and world and so she's used to hearing me say like, oh, take notes. And I was like I got to come up with pet peeves, like take notes. And as we were chatting these over, you know she's like well, that wedding, I had this happen to me. I'm like, oh, you're so right, that is entirely a pet peeve. So, yeah, again, full disclaimer if you are a couple that you know has done this or you're planning to do this, please know that we are not saying you know you're horrible or we don't like you or we don't want to work with you, it's just, again, these are things that, for some chemistry within our head or some background in our experiences, yeah, they just they're not our favorite thing. We're not going to do them personally. We don't judge. We still do the weddings. We still are actively booking. If you want Tristan, hit her up. She's around and available. Handling a lot of Southern Pennsylvania, Maryland panhandle, Virginia is a little tricky at times with their laws on officiating, but she's there, and some of West Virginia as well, but I don't know what their laws look like, so we'd have to see on that one Exactly Perfect. So why don't you pick one off of our list and just talk about why it's a pet peeve?

Tristen: 3:26

Why don't we start with the one that you came up with first? So one category out of price?

Amanda: 3:33

Yeah, it is. It's like one of these things is not like the other. One of these things just don't belong.

Amanda: 3:40

And a lot of weddings, you know, they recommend. You know if you're setting, say, a $10,000 budget for your wedding, which very few people can pull off these days, but they say you know 50% is going to your venue, especially if it's a venue with food, and then you know 25% is going to drinks and decorations. Decorations yeah, they have whole recommended breakdowns for no matter what your budget is, how you're relatively supposed to be spending that budget so that everything is taken care of, but taken care of realistically, financially feasibly and in an aesthetic sense. All kind of looks parallel, but I get really in my head and constantly thinking about it when it's a backyard wedding. So again, venue was not at a cost, totally fine. Love backyard weddings, no judgment. The food was maybe a pulled pork barbecue or something the aunt made it. Grandma made her homemade dessert. Everyone did like have a potluck and some really good sides Again, no judgment. And some really good sides Again, no judgment. Really really good food. The groom is in a new button-up shirt Okay, old, maybe it's going to turn into a work shirt later on. We love elements for a wedding that have dual focus. And the bride walks down the aisle and she looks stunning, she looks beautiful, she looks gorgeous. You know she did her hair. I saw one of her bridesmaids doing her makeup. You know, just absolutely fantastic. The dress and the shoes and again, I have no, no knowledge on if it was a thrifted store or whatnot, but the dress and the shoes were $10,000 on their own. Like custom-made dress, high-end. The shoes, you know, the red Louboutin heels, like at a backyard wedding, it just it seems so out of place, not just from a budgetary standpoint of you spent all your money here, but it just doesn't kind of fit the vibe and the theme, and so that's something again, I just I get a little oh what I want, you know, to almost kind of go up to the couples and be like, so how'd this happen? Like what were you thinking? Like, tell me the backstory. Like right, did you find the dress at a great price? Was just a, you had to have it? Have you saved your entire life to be able to get that dress? And then your husband's like, well, I just want to back your barbecue, and so you had to find a way to marry the two. Like whatever it is, it just leaves me with a lot more questions than answers,

Tristen: 6:16

and so that's why it makes my list is like, yeah, it's a little bit peppy, still gonna do it, but it's a yeah, and like, even if it is like the situation, like where she's saved up her whole life for this dress, let's just say in this example, that's great for you, but also, why isn't it included somewhere then? Or like you know it, just it's out of place, like if you're not drawing attention to it in some way, and the balance also is so off.

Amanda: 6:46

Yeah, and I come from a place where you know the one versus the many. You know both from a history perspective from my work in fundraising. A lot of times the work that I do, you know you seek it. You seek smaller gifts from the many versus a large gift from the one, and so similar expenses. You know, if it was the groom who got a brand new tux not rented like, bought a brand new tux everything was a lot of focus and energy went for the one person and then you kind of get some of the horror story of like they expected us to actually pay for our McDonald's meal type of plate. You know what did that do for the many? There's definitely balances to be struck for the experience you have as a couple to make sure it's a special day for you and that you are beautiful because it is your day, but also a focus for the many because it is your day, but also a focus for the many. Yeah, like spread the love around a little bit to all the other areas. And also like another thing that I again with the dress example that I go back to why wouldn't you spend it on your honeymoon? An experience versus one day? Yeah, like one dress one day that might only fit you this one particular size and time in your life? Yeah, and if you don't have a daughter, are you handing it down? Yeah, a lot of dresses sit in closets. They end up in thrift stores, where I got mine from Perfect. All right, let me see what we've got next on the list here.

Amanda: 8:18

Okay, so one we have as a pet peeve of ours and, Tristan, give me your thoughts on it is no plan for the officiant. We kind of show up on site with just blank stares and if there is a plan, it's not a thought out one.

Tristen: 8:36

Yeah, so I brought up this idea because I have this, the most recent wedding that I did. I showed up that day and I'd been asking them like for kind of a day of plan breakdown, like what was I responsible for, like what kind of the ceremony was going to look like with everyone else in it, and I wasn't really getting a lot back, and so I was just like, well, I guess I'll just show up. I have the script written, so it's fine. So I show up and I can't even find anyone to begin. We're in this house, multi-leveled, and I just I can't even find anyone. It's a nightmare. And I get there, find the people I'm supposed to, and they're like okay, well, you're also going to walk the rings down. And I was like, well, okay, I'm also the ring bearer now, okay. And so the whole time walking from like this house to where the ceremony is in, like an adjacent barn, I just keep thinking to myself where the heck am I gonna put this gosh darn ring box, because it's just like a perfectly cubed box from? I think it was k jewelers and I was just honky to fit in your pants pocket, but you're probably wearing a dress, exactly, I was wearing a jumpsuit that didn't have pockets and I had a bag, but it was white, so I wasn't going to bring it on to like the actual ceremony because, no, no, and I wouldn't even bring my bag anyway to begin with. And so all I really have is like my black binder and this ring box. And so you know, I'm like standing on the side of the venue. They don't want me to walk down, they just want me to walk in from the side. And I was like, okay, well, they have like these, like floral, like arches, and kind of like a box holder for each of them. Maybe I can just set it on the sides, but no, couldn't even do that.

Tristen: 10:16

So the whole ceremony, I am holding this ring box in my hand with this binder and I'm struggling to flip pages. My hand is in pain. So it's just like when there is no plan, there's no thought behind, like your ceremony, and it's just like, okay, let's get to the after. Like that drives me up a wall and not knowing the plan either until, like, I get there and then like they just bombard you.

Amanda: 10:41

Yeah, and there's there's some who hyper focus on the plan, where if it doesn't go according to plan, there's some problems. But then there's definitely like the under performers and you and I, you know, are slightly different with you know kind of the information we seek to have at a start. And maybe it's because I've been doing this so long and hey, go ahead, throw a ring box at me. I've held them before, I'll hold them again. I don't. I don't need to know the full landscape and layout. In fact, sometimes I really need to know when you want me to get there.

Amanda: 11:17

A lot of venues come with coordinators, which is a godsend. A lot of couples are, you know working with someone to do planning or even just day of execution, which is wonderful and helpful and so great, and I want to respect the role that those people have, so like I'm not going to come stepping on their toes in those situations and be like, so who's walking down the aisle? Where I did just get off the phone with a couple the other day married in gosh a few short weeks and they asked you know, like, okay, like the little flower girls and the ring bears, do they stand, do they sit? And I get a lot of questions like that I'm sure you do too where they ask us what's done, there's a couple different answers. There's what's traditionally been done, there's what typically has been done, which is what I use, like my own past, like, oh well, typically the couples I've seen. And then there's option three, which is whatever the couple wants.

Amanda: 12:11

And I think that, with couples who struggle to figure out how to best use an officiant, they fall into that third category. They maybe don't have a parent telling them, you know, oh well, my wedding or grandma's wedding or Aunt Susie's wedding a parent telling them, you know, oh well, my wedding or grandma's wedding or Aunt Susie's wedding, the tradition. They might not have a coordinator who's telling them the typical, so they're just relying in that blank land of like, oh well, the race will get down there somehow, like however we want, and coming up with the solutions themselves without necessarily thinking of, like practicality. But I agree with you, I would always rather be asked on something rather than assumed on something. So then handing your room box and be like, oh, we'll carry these down, I'd be like me and what army and what pocket? Or you know, I try to come up with a better solution or alternative.

Amanda: 12:56

But I've also found the weddings where the couple's been literally staring at the ring box going like, oh my gosh, how did we get this down the aisle? Oh my gosh, how do we get this down the aisle? And in those moments I'm like, yeah, this is where I can help. So I'd rather be offered than just assumed. And right, I'd love for them to know what my role is, but I don't need it fully detailed. They can still, you know, have concepts of a plan, concepts of a thought with it, and I'll work with them on it. But it certainly is a. It's different. Every wedding is so different and you can tell influences of who helps in planning. You know, is it the bride alone? Or you know friends or sisters that have been in a lot of weddings. Parental influence you know moms and dads and grandparents who all said, well, how about this and how about that? I've shown up at rehearsals. I don't think the bride and groom get a word in. Edgewise it is mom and grandma and mother-in-law and the dads have a. But what about this? And it's tough because it's their day. But, as you know, in a lot of ways it's everybody's shining moment. It's a great time of celebration for families and that gets lost sometimes.

Tristen: 14:15

Want to move on to our next one? Yeah, all right. So our next one is vows written in the 11th hour or last minute.

Amanda: 14:23

Yeah, this gets me and I'll bundle this up a little bit. I'll have a different episode on why I offer vow writing assistance the way I do. But if you like to write your own vows, it's a great option if you feel that you can find the words for it. If you need help finding the words, sometimes there's a wonderful fishing friends that will help. Or, you know, shouting out chat gpt, it can be good. Try it out. Don't wait until the last minute. I don't want to say do it super early. It's also the reason I don't write my script super early is because life happens and your relationship, especially in the wedding planning process, is going to adjust and change. You're going to have to come up with compromise. So if you wrote vows the day you got engaged, chances are you're promising some really great stuff, but you're not promising as much as you would closer to the end of the process, where you've gotten over some big hurdles, like discussing finances, like discussing prenups and kids and who's going to take in who's sick elderly mom when the time comes. There's a lot of growth that happens in the wedding planning process. So if you're going to write your vows, my recommendation to avoid it being on my pet people list is start out like a month six weeks to a month before your wedding.

Amanda: 15:48

Write a draft, fix a draft, read it over, make a few more adjustments to the draft. Really think about you know what sort of contents in there. If you are expecting a laugh, I like to ask people who are you expecting a laugh from? If it's just your significant other, that's awesome. If you're trying to play to the audience or crowd, you might need to like dumb the joke down a little bit. They don't know your inside jokes, they're not going to know if you're being sarcastic or not, and half of them are your family members and friends. They're your spouse's family member and friends. They're not going to know that it's okay to laugh at slash with you if that is the vibe you were going for. And those are some of the key things that really are missed in consideration when you elect to write vows the morning of the wedding, midnight the night before, after many Coors Lights or Coronas or Jäger bombs Don't.

Amanda: 16:47

I would almost rather if you were planning to do your own vows and you said we don't need any help, but the muse didn't come to you. The words never appeared into your face, letting me know, damn, as an officiant I can do a lot to pivot. I could even help you with some stuff. I could adjust up some of the traditional vows and work with you to have it in your hands, versus watch you stumble through what you scribbled in a notebook at 2 am using some big words that you thought were really good the night before that. Now you're having a hard time pronouncing. I've seen some really tragic personal doubts. I've seen amazing ones, disclaimers, but I've seen some really, really tragic ones, and so it just like I almost take it as a personal job, like I could have helped. Please, why won't you let me help you? And that's why it's a pet peeve of mine, like, please, let me either write your vows yourself and practice them and be ready. Or option two ask me for help, let's talk about them, let's practice. Like I can come in at whatever step in the process you're you're in sooner rather than later would be great. Or option three nix the plan, scrap it. No vows is okay.

Tristen: 18:10

Yeah, I think something that comes for me with this, like last minute vow writing. So the first thing that popped in my head while you were chatting was when couples don't discuss their vows with each other and one person writes an entire eulogy and an entire book series and then the other person writes maybe a paragraph and it's so unbalanced it doesn't have a good feel to it in a ceremony. For me, it doesn't have a good feel standing there, I'm just like oh gosh

Amanda: 18:51

Or when one lays heavy into the humor and the other lays heavy into the sincerity and there is no nice blend between the two and and there's a fine line, especially with humor, of playable humor versus you went too far.

Amanda: 19:05

So I think about the video of the one bride who they'd been engaged like 10 years or something. So when she pulled out her vows she like like blew baking soda, baking powder off of it. To you know, it had dust on it for a split second, that's what it was, and everyone had had a laugh. And then she went on with her vows and they were personal and they were great. Good example of humor. Relationship related humor tells the little bit of the story of who you are without having to say a word fantastic. Then you've got the different viral situation where, oh gosh, I don't want to give this episode an explicit content warning but the groom thought it would be totally fine as vows to say something like we'll be getting along great if you keep my stomach full and my balls empty, comfortably so. And there was another, another example where someone kind of said the joke but then kept the joke going like, hey, you're, you got to be good in the kitchen, in the bedroom. Well, you're only good in one of them so far.

Amanda: 20:11

Like, do not be disparaging in your vows at all, don't mention body parts, whether it's positive or negative, unless it's like their eyes, their hair, their smile. Those are about it. Like, do not. There's a lot of pitfalls you could have with vows, which is why I really do not recommend waiting to the last minute and I recommend you get someone to proofread it I don't care who, just please, please,

Tristen: 20:37

yes, yes, someone who has not had multiple Jäger bombs so not the night before Like someone who is in their sane right mind and ready to read it. And the last thing I'll add to this last minute topic is that last minute before your wedding, you should be enjoying that with your person and with your friends and family, especially if you guys are all at the same venue and you guys are all doing a stay-in thing. That's a moment that you should be spending with family and your partner. You shouldn't be in a back room, in a bathroom, in the back of the bar, somewhere, writing your vows like a manic person. You should be enjoying that time and being .

Amanda: 21:17

, or, like with my wedding, drinking four bottles of wine the night before. Don't worry, my vows were already written and printed and ready to go and having things crossed off my list it just meant I got to relax and really be ready for the next day, not fretting over some of the last minute things, yeah, awesome. So let's see what else we have here, and so I think this is certainly one for both of us as a pet peeve. I'll let you take a first stab with it Booking too far in advance and again, you've moved around a fair amount of bit. So right now, as I'm looking to migrate some couples from one region to another region, I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't know where life is even going to take me. How have you managed to like balance that out?

Tristen: 22:11

Yeah, I mean, I just kind of take it with a grain of salt. I mean, I love traveling, I love the crazy chaos part of life. So for me it's, you know, as long as I have a bed and a place to stay, I'll make it work Like I'll figure it out, I'll do what I got to do, I'll travel where I got to travel. I mean, with my job right now it is a little difficult, but I do make sure to prioritize the officiating part of my life as well. And if I have said like I'm going to be there, I've made a commitment to be there. Not only you know, contractual obligation. But, like just for myself personally, I will be there. So even if I book a little bit too far in advance for someone, I will go, you know, over hell and high water to try to get there and do what I can and accommodate. But it kind of goes back to what you were saying. Actually, with writing scripts, that's what becomes difficult, because you can't really start writing or becoming involved in that process so much later. So it's like it just goes on the back burner and that's where I run into a problem. I forget about them.

Amanda: 23:13

Well, disclaimer, not forget about the wedding, but you forget some of the particulars of the couple, or their vibe, their sense, the themes they wanted.

Amanda: 23:22

Yes, yes, and my thought with the booking in advance is I used to totally be a thousand ten percent, and then I'm trying this thing years straight, and then I was booking weddings at a year, year and a half, almost two years out for some of them, weddings at a year, year and a half, almost two years out for some of them. And next thing, you know, my entire second half of July, august and September were packed. So I had to turn down some of the bigger family experiences and that's. That was kind of hard. I've worked now to get some clauses into contract to take care of that. But with advanced booking I think the harder one the more Pet peeve of mine is I love a good plan, I am a planner, I am all for the couple that wants to talk a year in advance, two years in advance, heck, three years in advance. But if you don't have a venue, you don't have a wedding. If you don't have a date, you do not have a wedding planned. You are still in planning Venue date at the absolute minimum before you get too far into the weeds with all of the rest of your vendors, because that's how vendors really end up inadvertently. Double booking is that you know. You talk to them at an expo and said, oh my gosh, yeah, you know, december, maybe we're thinking late fall, early winter of 2027. They're like, yeah, yeah, the calendar's open sounds great. I'll send you a quote.

Amanda: 25:26

You book the premium platinum package and you do, and then you know six months later somebody comes along with more of a finite date that you don't have set yet and as numbers start to crunch and things start to work out, it can be a real headache. I had a bride recently say like, oh my gosh, I'm getting married spring a real headache. I had a bride recently say like oh my gosh, I'm getting married spring of 28, but I don't have a date and I don't have a venue and I'm like those are huge, huge questions, even though it's 2028 and a while from now. I'm not holding that space open. I'm going to live my life and plan what I got to plan and do what I got to do. I'm not comfortable putting out a price quote without knowing at least a generalized vicinity of a venue, because it could be a night and day difference. Am I driving down into Philadelphia? Am I in Harrisburg? Am I in the Poconos or goodness, as you get throughout the eastern border of Pennsylvania, you could be in New York, new Jersey, pennsylvania, delaware, maryland, virginia and West Virginia and Ohio let's just name all six in the state that border Pennsylvania. Why don't we? Each of them is different, with their marriage laws, with their timeline on things.

Amanda: 26:41

I love a good planner, but don't come book an officiant, especially until you really have a plan. Officiants are often the last or the second to last booked vendor and I've gotten more okay with that over the years. I used to be really annoyed with it but, honestly, I've got my schedule set. I know what it is. So coming to me at two months out sometimes is a lot easier for me to say yes, let's move forward, or nope, I'm so sorry, I'm booked and move you along to what's next in your journey, than two years out with a lot of question marks.

Tristen: 27:17

Yeah, okay, what do you got for our last one, last one? Over-respect or disrespect? Oh my gosh. So I think in a seasoned world, I'll, I'll take over respect if you'll take disrespect. Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

Amanda: 27:34

So I am not a god, I am not anything more than human. I'm good human, but I'm not super special. I am not the be-all end. All the world should not stop. When I walk into a room and it's a little, it's a shocking the first time it happens, but then it gets a little like oh gosh, right, all right Time to put on the Amanda. When it happens more than once or constantly, and that is, it's nothing. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just treat me human. You don't need to over respect me. You do not need to, you know, put a pedestal at my feet. I am not a bishop, pope, priest. I not a king, a lord, I'm none of that. Yeah, so just when people are like, oh my gosh, like, is that okay with you, what do you think? Like they're seeking my blessing, they're seeking a lot of additional validation for their choices of it, and that's funny, I don't't need that. Or when they feel like conversations have to stop. When I walk into a room or a space, oh the number of groomsmen that have sworn in front of me and then instantly like, apologize, I'm so sorry, and it wasn't. I'm so sorry because you are a lady. It's, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. You're the minister. Dude, I spent four years in a fraternity basement. Let's keep those jokes going.

Amanda: 29:11

So a fair level of respect and appreciation is totally fine. Please do not, you know, cater to me, make me the sun, moon, stars. It's not about me. And again, unless I'm coming in at four hours notice to perform a wedding and really, you know, quote, save the day, I don't need much more than a few simple like oh, that was so wonderful, thank you so much. We loved hearing what you said. That's it. I'm simple in that way and other officiants out there could totally be like no, I love the respect and the additional, you know, overappreciation, I don't need it. Thank me, let me go.

Tristen: 29:55

Yeah, and I'm in the same category with that. You can just thank me and let me go. I don't need the stars, moon or anything else. I am not a part of the church. I'm good, so for disrespect. The thing with this is I'm not just some like random Joe Schmo. You pulled off the sidewalk on some random street to officiate you. You clicked one random button once and thought, ooh, that might be fun. You actually researched quite a lot, yeah, and I did expos beforehand I had assisted with script writing with you. You were at what age you shadowed Exactly. I did my due diligence. I do have professional opinions and professional expertise to lend to me A being here, b being able to be booked by you, and C to just to have my license period. Like, there are things that I know and am respected in for that. I'm not just some random person. So, like you know, if I'm making recommendations to you, if you asked for them or you know, I'm a little shocked because you're doing something that way, like, and someone comes at me with a lot of defensiveness or very much like no, it just for me. It gives either very bridezilla or it just makes me feel like I'm being undervalued and like I'm not being treated the best, and those are situations that I personally really don't like

Tristen: 31:26

I had a wedding that was very much that way, and I didn't even get a thank you from the bride and groom after I didn't get fed. They literally just let me go and like I handed them the paperwork and that was it, and the bride essentially rolled her eyes at me when I left. So it was pretty bad. I find it hard at times.

Amanda: 31:44

I don't get as much disrespect Drunken groomsmen aside I don't get a ton of disrespect from the couple. Obviously, I talked to them, I consulted with them, we came in on a similar level. They're the ones I've been dealing with the whole time. Sometimes it's the parents yeah, I get that too Of you. Know, gosh, why are you doing it this way, especially when we're at a rehearsal or we're trying to do lineup and they're like the mother of the bride is supposed to come second. It's like, hey, I'm not going to. And they address it to me. They look at me and say to me one, I didn't plan your layout, this walking layout. The couple did that, or their coordinator did that. Two, it's what the couple wanted or what the venue or coordinator would have recommended, given industry, traditions, standards, typical. And three, okay, yeah. I answer a lot with that like oh, okay, yeah, you don't like that. You are walking second to your ex-husband and his wife. I don't know what to tell you. Okay, um and and again.

Amanda: 32:58

Just some questions of I don't understand why this couldn't be in a church. It was a fine ceremony but it could have been better if you were xyz of a person or if you were. I was literally told once that I shouldn't have done the ceremony, I should have let a priest do it and I should have been a reader. The couple was very specific that they did not want secular hands anywhere near their wedding and so, yeah, that one. I was just like, oh, okay, like thank you for that.

Amanda: 33:34

But after gosh, I think I'll hit 200 weddings by the end of the year. A lot of it. I've come to be you know what. I don't have to be Prince. We don't have to be close. We don't have to follow each other. I used to. I used to follow every bride, every couple. Unfortunately, got to see some of the divorces play out on social media. Now it's okay. You know, even if it's a great wedding, it's still okay. You've got your wedding, I did my service, we're all good, yeah. Wedding I did my service, we're all good,

Tristen: 34:08

yeah And with the families too, especially the religious stuff, like I completely understand if that's important to you, but please don't project your wishes onto the bride and the groom, a and b. Then don't go as far as to project it onto me, the officiant, who's not even a part of any of that. Like there are better places that you can address that with other people and you know the familial line and stuff like that. Don't take it up with me. I have no place, no space in that

Amanda: 34:39

Perfect . Well, it has been over 250 listens, over 10 episodes less than three months in. So here's hoping that we can pass that 500. Oh my gosh, that would be surreal to surpass it like towards the end or very beginning of like month four. That would just be really great. So I'll kind of kick it to you, tristan any farewell wishes, any sign-offs. If anyone wants to find you for things, they hit you up, they find you through me. You want her Essentially, yeah. Yeah, you want Tristan, you come through me.

Tristen: 35:16

Yeah, I'm still open for booking. I don't do it as much as I used to, but I am still open to perform weddings. You can reach me through Amanda. That's probably the best place to rally me, just because when I am not here, I'm very much in my management life. I run a jewelry store, funnily enough that I ended up selling engagement rings right after becoming an officiant. But yeah, probably the best way is to find me through amanda.

Amanda: 35:43

Perfect, thank you all so much and until next time . This has been amanda and the wedding Where wear. Thank you for listening to the Wedding Where with wedding with officiating by amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on buzzsprout and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the Wedding Wear. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at Officiating by Amanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, weddingwire and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to theweddingwearpodcast at gmailcom, and if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda at gmailcom. Thank you so much for tuning in and until next time. This has been Amanda.