I Cried

I share the story of the wedding that made me break my professional composure and cry during the ceremony. This emotional experience changed how I approach my role as an officiant, allowing me to be more flexible with ceremony scripts and more authentic with showing emotions.

• Young couple incorporated their two-month-old daughter into the ceremony
• Bride wanted special tributes to her late father throughout the wedding
• Days before the wedding, bride discovered a 20-year-old message from her father in a book
• The quote perfectly captured the moment of creating a new family while honoring her father's memory
• Reading the quote during the ceremony led to tears from everyone, including myself
• This experience taught me to balance professionalism with authentic emotion
• Changed my approach to writing ceremony scripts, now keeping them digital and editable until the last minute

What are some emotional wedding moments you have experienced? If you're planning your wedding, consider how you might incorporate meaningful quotes or tributes from loved ones who can't be present.

Chapters

• 0:04 Welcome to The Wedding Wear
• 0:42 Weddings and Emotions
• 2:48 The Special Father Tribute
• 5:19 The Perfect Quote From Beyond
• 8:40 Balancing Professionalism With Emotion
• 10:39 Closing Thoughts and Questions

Transcript

Amanda: 0:04

Welcome to the Wedding Where With officiating by Amanda. the Wedding Where I cried! Welcome back to an episode that I knew from day one I would record this one. I just had to think about the best way to tell this story.

Amanda: 0:42

As we all know, weddings bring out every kind of emotion Tears, laughter, tears of laughter, joy, tears of love, tears of grief and missing family members who aren't there, tears of stress. There's a lot of emotions, there's a lot of tears. There's a reason that there's specific tissue boxes that people get for their weddings that say for the happy tears. But yeah, officiants aren't supposed to cry like. We're supposed to be the, the outward observer, the narrator. We are not supposed to get invested in, and I typically do. I keep my emotions in check, whether it's shock and surprise that the groom said that in his vows or you know, tears because something really heartfelt was said. But with this wedding I did not. Nope, nope, nope. This is the wedding where I cried, and I don't mean like if you looked at me as I walked back down the aisle, you could see a tear. I mean, I didn't sob, I will clarify that but I cried and thankfully I wasn't alone. Very, it was just kind of it hit me of that. I get to be a part of some of these really emotional moments and sometimes I'm the one saying the emotional words and doing beautiful things for these couples and these families and it hit me hard and we're going to talk all about it and I will say that I was able to interview the bride that this story is about. So stay tuned. That will be coming out very, very shortly. I'm sure she's going to have a lot more to say too. That gives you a lot more insight about her process in planning the wedding, her thoughts on the ceremony, her dreams, dreams and desires and just all that jazz. She's fantastic.

Amanda: 2:48

So it was early on as an officiant, I'd probably say in the first 10, 15 weddings. They were a young couple, they were fun, they'd met online, they got pregnant, they got engaged on the line, they got pregnant, they got engaged and by the time of their wedding they had an adorable baby girl so cute, I think, maybe two months old Carried down the aisle. It was cute and upon meeting the couple, they really expressed to me just how important it was that we acknowledge family very heavily within the ceremony, both the family that they were creating, their daughter, as well as ties to the bride's sister, her maid of honor, her nieces, her nephews, but very specifically to her father, who had passed away years back when she was young and she had shared with me that, you know, she spent most of her life thinking that she was not going to take a spouse's last name because that would replace her dad's last name and her family line, and that was very key to her and ultimately she had me write it into the ceremony to say out like I am, you know, taking my husband's last name because it's the last name of my daughter and of my family, and so that was really, really important to them and I'm like, okay, we're gonna honor this. So I'm like bracing myself already, like, okay, this is gonna be, it's gonna hit in the feels, it's gonna be great, but I have to be above this, or so I thought or I hoped. So we had some really special touches to honor her dad. You know some of the typical ones a moment of silence. It was listed in the program. When her brother-in-law walked down the aisle and gave her away. I worked with him on a really great line of like Her father would be proud of the men that his daughters had found Some really, really fun things.

Amanda: 4:50

And up to this point, when I was doing weddings, I would write the scripts very far in advance and I would have them printed a week or two ahead of a wedding and PDFed and ready to go and was not really someone making changes on the fly and ready to go and was not really someone making changes on the fly. This is one of the weddings that kept me a little more open to quicker edits and I had another one that absolutely destroyed how I write scripts. So I now write them about two weeks to ten days before a wedding and they are able to be edited up until the moment of the wedding. I now carry them on a tablet and don't print them anymore.

Amanda: 5:32

But this wedding was one of those main reasons because, despite everything being printed, pdfed, signed, sealed, approved, a few days before the wedding the bride had gotten back into her possession a book that her father had given to a friend, like 20 years ago when the friend had had a newborn daughter, and there was a quote on the inside of the book and she sent it to me and as soon as I read it I yep throughout the script. I have to include this. I have to find a way to make it work. I knew it would have a very deep impact. The wording was perfect. I'll read it for you. I'll literally read you the last little bit of what it was. But I really was like, okay, you're just reading the words, you don't, you don't have to feel them. And so we get to their beautiful wedding day and this beautiful ceremony, beautiful little two-month-old baby being carried down the aisle. I still I think about it a lot.

Amanda: 6:43

I made a joke to her dad, the groom at the end of the aisle, going yeah, you know, one of these days it'll be her walking down the aisle. That got him to cry from the beginning, minutes from pronouncing, and I said you know I was going to offer you some advice, but I'm at a loss for words, so instead I'm going to quote a beloved family man who would be so proud of the family that you created here today and the vow of everlasting love that you've taken. And then this here was the quote, written word for word her dad "congratulations. I wish that I could be there also to share your happiness. But someday enjoy every moment with your little one, for the years seem so fleeting. I wish sometimes that I could stop the clock when moments seem so precious, wishing you and yours the best of life, health and love. So yeah, I didn't get through that without crying. The couple cried, the guest cried, I was already crying. The words, pretty much from beyond, were just perfect, they just fit. And the fact that within days of the wedding, she had found this quote was incredibly touching and that she asked like, oh, is it okay if we? Of course it's okay if we include this quote. Of course I very rarely ever told a couple no, but this is certainly not when I was going to start and there was not dry in the house. So I did not feel alone.

Amanda: 8:39

And I've officiated some other emotional weddings since then. That one got me good. That one got me probably the hardest that any have gotten me. I've officiated for family members and some sorority sisters where, if I take too long of a second to go, oh my gosh, we actually got here. Do you remember when your heart was broken or when the world seemed like it was falling apart? If I give myself those moments, oh yeah, I'll get a little misty, but nothing to this day has gotten me the way that that wedding has, and I've worked hard to try to stay professional in the space, because it's not about me, it's not.

Amanda: 9:24

I'm supposed to be telling the story, sharing the day legally getting married. I should not be in any way, shape or form, laughing, crying, doing whatever, but I make the exception and I will laugh with you and I will cry with you. You know, if there's something really funny said by the groom, I chuckle and I have to chuck, chuckle and I want to chuckle. And you want to see a picture of the bride, her head bent back, laughing and you want to make sure that I have at least a smile on my face, if not a little, because if I'm stone face, that looks horrible. You can't Photoshop that out. I guess you could, but suffice it to say I try when I fail, I try to fail alongside those along with me, and sometimes it's just not possible, and I learned that with this wedding. And so I'm really, really excited for the interview that's coming up with Amanda, the bride from this wedding, and I will probably share that quote again. We will probably have a few drinks, we will probably cry again. It is definitely a near and dear moment to me.

Amanda: 10:38

So, before we sign off. What are some emotional wedding moments you have seen or been a part of? Do you have a family member? It's also past. What would you do if you found that quote like from beyond? Are there words that you wish you had in writing? And if you're not yet married, how might you fit something like that in? How could you make sure that there's that little special, special piece, a quote from someone that you love and this to tie in? I don't think any of them no offense, I don't think any of them are going to be as nail on the head perfect as that one was. But if you could almost dial it in, what would you want it to say? Thank you all so much. I'll talk with you later.

Amanda: 11:33

Thank you for listening to the Wedding Where with Officiating by Amanda. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and found some inspiration or insight for your own special day. This podcast is hosted on Buzzsprout and can be found on all major platforms. If you haven't already, please subscribe, like, comment and share to help us reach even more listeners who might laugh a little at the Wedding Where. For the links referenced in the show, visit Linktree at Officiating by Amanda. You can also follow the business on Facebook, wedding wire and the Knot to stay up to date on everything going on. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the podcast, just send an email to theweddingwirepodcast@ gmail. com, and if you're ready to inquire about officiating services for your own big day, you can reach me at officiatingbyamanda@ gmail. com. Thank you so much for tuning in and until next time. This has been Amanda.